


Out

by Namiriana



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Emotional Abuse, F/F, Friendship, Gay Bashing, Gen, Homophobia, M/M, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:17:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3227195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namiriana/pseuds/Namiriana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had always been different from others and rather than let that stop him, he was going to use it to fuel his determination to leave it all behind. They would never be able to hold him back or bring him down to their level. He was getting OUT!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter: An Introduction**

**Date: July 30, 2014**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.**

 

All his life, Kurt Hummel had known that he was different. As a child, he had wanted to dance like a ballerina, host tea parties, wear tiaras and if the mood suited him, he liked to dress up in his mother’s clothes and pretend he was just like any other girl in the world. He did not want to learn to play football, baseball, basketball or wrestle, play in the dirt and destroy things like other little boys did. As a child, he had known that because of his differences to other males his age that his father had had trouble connecting to him, but he also knew that his father had tried his best to see past that and love him like he was any other boy. The real trouble Kurt had with being different had not come until it came time for all little boys and girls to go to school and begin shaping their futures. In the town of Lima, the hierarchy into which one fit began to build itself in this first year of elementary schooling and Kurt’s uniqueness had set him apart from his peers in an unusual and unwanted fashion.

It had not been too bad because they were too young to truly understand such prejudices then; but about the same age as when Kurt’s mother had passed due to terminal cancer, the children in Kurt’s age group had begun to get a clue and began to express their thoughts quite vocally. It was just name calling at first and nothing too degrading, like Princess, Fairy, Fancy, and Girly-boy. Even though it had been rather tame, the intent behind it had still hurt and sent the effeminate boy home to his father in tears. At least until he realized just how much more of a burden it was putting on his father’s already hard-working shoulders. It was at this young age that Kurt began to understand just how different he was to other kids and what that would mean for him in terms of Lima, Ohio culture. Within those first few moments of meeting him on the first day of school, Kurt had been considered an outcast amongst his peers. It was depressing and painful and lonely, but Kurt had weathered through it because no matter what, his father was there supporting him as much as he was able even if he did not always understand.

Burt Hummel had worn feather boas, learned to sip delicately from his tea cup, remembered to always put his pinky finger out before setting down a glass and wore cheap, plastic tiaras just to see a smile on his son’s lonely face. That same smile that reminded him of his dearly departed wife. He would admit, but never where his son could hear, that Kurt’s differences sometimes made him angry and wish he had a ‘normal’ son. However, all he had to do was look at that boy, his boy and know that no matter how ‘abnormal’ the child was, he could never love him less or hold him responsible for being exactly who he was. Overall, it was the world outside their home that had the most issues with accepting Kurt’s differences.

It was no different when Kurt made it to high school at William McKinley High School (WMHS). The names became more derogatory but repetitive and the bullies remained the same but bigger. The most notable change had been that his tormenters had also become his attackers. At first, Kurt had figured that such assaults were unacceptable, after all the law even said so, but when he informed the teacher, the principle and even the resource officer, no one had cared. Thus, Kurt returned to his usual method of dealing with his bullies, he ignored them while holding his head high. In his first year at WHMS, he found that the teachers were apathetic which had translated to the students as well and that most of the officers that staffed the local police stations held positions in the school hierarchy that meant they bullied the lesser students as well. Kurt was on his own at school even though he had made some casual acquaintances that would only acknowledge him if none of the ‘elite’ were about to see them associating with the ‘fairy.’ After all, the current mentality of the WMHS students was ‘As long as it’s him and not me.’

He hoped going into sophomore year would be better since there would be a new batch of students to confuse the Neanderthals that believed themselves to be superior to Kurt just because their sense of fashion reflected the fact that they would never leave the miserable town of Lima; stuck just like their parents, never becoming anything better than where they came from. It looked as though his second year of high school was going to go about the same as the year previous, except something notable had changed and thus, Kurt’s first crush was born. He had never thought that he would have looked at any of the males in Lima with anything other than derision and disgust (except his father of course). However, one Finnegan Hudson had seemingly changed over the summer into something more than a Neanderthal as he actually let Kurt put away his bag and Marc Jacobs jacket before giving him the flavor of the day.

It became stronger later when he was outed to the school and the jocks began tossing him in the dumpster on a daily basis. The tall teen would actually hold his things until Kurt managed to get himself out of the dumpster and returned them to him before running off for class. Kurt was by no means a fool though, because that could get him more than just pee balloons and his lawn furniture nailed to the roof of his house. Even though Kurt had his first crush, the most he did was make moon eyes at the jock in question. He did not talk to Finn unless it was in relation to their History assignments, the only class they shared, he did not make any active attempts to see him throughout the day, he did not attempt to approach the jock outside of school and no matter what the circumstances he never touched jock in any way. He did not have a death sentence and he understood that Hudson was as straight as they came. He accepted this and just used the experience as yet another motivator for making it out of Lima for the more accepting streets of New York City, New York. Just like he accepted the fact that he was at the very bottom of McKinley’s social hierarchy.

     Cheerios> Footballers> Hockey Players> Basketballers> Baseballers> Skanks> Swimmers> Delinquents> Teacher’s Pets> Disabled kids (physically or mentally)> Geek Squad> Nerds> Emo> Wannabes> Jewfro (kid is a category unto himself in all aspects)> Performing Arts kids> Glee> Kurt.

One day, Kurt Hummel promised himself, he was going to leave Lima, Ohio behind as nothing more than a bad dream.

@@@@

Finnegan Hudson, he prefers Finn, was a late comer to Lima and to Ohio in general. His father had died not long after he was born in the Gulf War and his mother had needed a better place to raise her son than the city streets of Chicago, Michigan. She managed to get a transfer, but the only out-of-city position was also out-of-state, but her job was paying for the move and she took it. So while Finn only knows the life of Lima, he was not a native and in elementary school the kids had teased him about that fact. Later on in middle school, that had not mattered and was actually kind of cool. Then Finn hit puberty about a year or two ahead of the rest of his peers and had grown to tower over his classmates. For the first time in his short life, the pre-teen was picked on by the other students and it was for the fact that he was different from the rest of them. However, once again as he transferred from one level to the next in terms of schools, things tipped back favorably in his direction. In high school, the basketball coach spotted him first and had personally asked for Finn to consider joining the camp that summer and try out for the team the following fall.

Overnight, Finn Hudson had become one of the coolest kids in school and he had liked the perks that came with it. He was a catch that every girl in his year wanted and though he dated many of them for short periods of time, he was never able to be confident enough to get passed feeling up her chest unlike his best friend, Noah ‘Call me Puck’ Puckerman, whom had been boning chicks since middle school and he discovered that taking a piss was not all his penis was good for. Since he was not doing all that great with the ladies and he wanted to make his mom worry less about him, he had tried to focus on his grades so that he could have a solid future ahead of him. Unfortunately, the tall teen’s ability in the realm of academics was painfully lacking. Since academics was not going to be his ticket, Hudson threw himself into training with his best bud in order to prepare them for football camp starting three weeks after the beginning of summer break.

After football camp, Finn went on to basketball camp in order to prepare him for after football season and found that he was fairly decent at both sports. He dreamed that with a bit of experience and practice he could go pro and then his mother would definitely not have to worry so much about his future. Finn also noted the social classes that were the foundation of McKinley High and resolved to do everything he could to remain at the top of the ladder. His single experience of being fodder for others had been more than enough to deter him from wanting to do anything that would put him back near the bottom. Thus, he went with the culture of WMHS without argument and with active participation in the subjugation of the bottom rungs. His only rule was that he could not harass girls because of his respect for his painfully single mother. It also became more important that he did not harass girls when he hooked up with the perfect girl at the beginning of his sophomore year: Quinn Fabray. She was strictly Christian and she was not in any hurry to seek out Finn’s sexual prowess or lack thereof. She was the perfect girl to lose his virginity to; however, she would not let them get any farther than a bit of making out and while Finn had wanted to at least be able to feel her boobs while they did so, she gave that privilege only rarely and strictly when he had ‘earned’ it.

His getting together with the Head Cheerleader of the Cheerios also gave him enough leeway that when she said that bullying others was wrong, he did not have to actively participate in any of it. It did have a downside though, as the teasing came back with the guys calling him pussy-whipped. He preferred the teasing to being on the other side of their bullying and he was always able to shut them up, with the exception of Puck, with the fact that none of them had girlfriends. The part of that downside was that one Kurt Hummel developed a crush on him and though he was naïve about many things and slow in almost all others, Finn had seen enough girls make that face at him to recognize it when Hummel had it on his. Each time he saw it, it made his skin crawl with revulsion and he really wished he the guy would get a clue and let go. Finn was not gay, did not want to be and could not understand why someone would want to be. It was gross. That was what he had learned growing up in Lima, but he had never learned such close mindedness from his mother.

Given the circumstances of their situation, Caroline ‘Carol’ Hudson had done the best she could by her son. As a woman, it was hard to teach a boy how to be a man, but she had done what she could. She had inspired him with tales of his father and his bravery when he was young and as he got older, she tried dating again. She did not do it just to give him a male figure to look up to, but because she was ready to move on as well. She was lonely and she wanted to be loved and fulfilled in a way that her son’s love could not do. Then after the last man cheated on her with a woman half her age and she lost her job, she stopped dating. At first it was because she was too busy finding another job in a small town in order to provide for their small family and then it was because she had to work long hours in order to make enough to continue to provide for their still small family.

With all the time that she spent working, Carol did worry extensively about her son. She worried about the trouble he could get into being at the Puckerman’s house all the time, about the fact that she was missing out on so much while he was finding himself, that his grades were barely passable, about what his future had in store for him and the list went on. She is his mother and it was her prerogative to worry about the child she had carried for nigh on ten months before birthing him into this world. However, she could admit that when he joined sports and stopped getting into so much trouble with Puck that she worried less about him, but she never could never stop worrying about her child every time he stepped out the door into the world outside. She just hoped that her best had been enough and that she had given him all the tools he needed to find himself and become the honorable, independent man she envisioned and hoped he could be. It was all she could do now.

@@@@

No one and nothing would stand in her way of becoming a star. It took fortitude, hard work, talent and the willingness to crush your competition and she had all of those traits in spades. It was here, in her high school years, that she had to prove to herself that she had what it took to make it to the big leagues, to be a Broadway legend. Ever since she was little, she had had the talent and the determination to win at all costs. She was born to be a star and she refused to let anything, anyone stand between her and her dreams. Even her two gay dads knew that she was destined for great things and they told her so often. Some may call her spoiled, but they were just jealous that their child did not have the talent and ambition that she had displayed since she was in diapers. Everything her dads did for her was because they knew that she would make it out of Lima, Ohio to the star-spangled streets of New York. She would become a household name, a brand name and instead of people laughing at her or slushing her face with a variety of flavors of corn syrup, people would want to be her. That would come later though. She needed to prove to herself first that she was ready to take that next step. She needed to conquer high school and the first phase of her plan was research. She was just a freshman after all. That was exactly what Rachel did and it quickly became evident that if she wanted to make all of her hard work come to bounteous fruition she needed to do three major things in her four years at WMHS.

The most important obstacle to her climb to the top was another freshman named Kurt Hummel. He was a countertenor, something which today’s society had not truly seen, except in Opera perhaps, for some time. His uniqueness would make him stand out to those that could truly appreciate music and his features would make him perfect for Broadway due to his capacity to play both male and female roles if he so chose. He had to be taken out first because competition was a no-no, she would be the only talent worth considering here. The opportunity showed itself after she found herself taken with Finn Hudson, a guy that was at the top of the freshmen tier and a shoe-in for top tier of the social circle when allowed to play sports the following year. She had also heard him singing in the boys’ locker room when she had been trying to find a bathroom to wash cherry flavored slush off her face and just knew that he would complement her perfectly when she needed a capable male partner. Due to her status she could not approach him without repercussion, but she did watch him from afar and those around him so that she could find a way to approach him when she saw him.

Kurt Hummel was making moon eyes at another guy and even though she had two gay dads who had told her horror stories about being gay in small towns, she told the Jewish kid in charge of the school blog that everyone seemed to refer to as Jewfro due to his ridiculous head of hair. By the next day it was all over the school and seeing the looks that Finn shot the countertenor, she knew that her work was done. That should effectively demoralize the boy for a while and with the increase in bullying it should keep him sufficiently kicked down while she rose to the top. She was only slightly remorseful that the increase in bullying escalated from light shoving to full-fledged locker checks and dumpster tossing, but as she believed, one must be willing to crush their competition to make it to the top. Rachel Berry was more than happy to crush Kurt Hummel in order to obtain the spotlight.

The next opportunity came right at the end of her freshman year: Mr. Ryerson had to go!

@@@@

William Schuester was the Spanish teacher for McKinley High and he did not have a clue as to why he had taken up the position. His second language had been French in college and his focus for his teaching degree had been early education. Yet, here he is teaching at the secondary level and in a language that he had no true appreciation or knowledge of. He had wanted to work with young children because he honestly loved kids and the joy that they brought to people’s lives. It was why he wanted children of his own so badly. He and his wife had been married almost a decade, pretty much straight after high school, and they had yet to have children. He had even thought that there was something wrong with him, but he had had himself checked out at his yearly physical and his doctor had assured him there was no reason, on his end, why he could not have children. After that, he had started to resent his wife just a little bit because he had always known that he was her second choice, her safe bet and she could not at least give him a child after all the sacrifices he has made for her. Despite his resentment, he still loved her even as he caught on to the fact that Miss Pillsbury had a crush on him and if he wanted to be honest with himself, he had a crush on her too. This realization of his wondering eye and his simmering resentment of his wife is what pushed him to take on the glee club.

Do not misunderstand him, he liked glee club as it reminded him of his youth and he would enjoy seeing others enjoy the things that he had when he was younger; however, he needed space from his demanding and frustratingly high maintenance wife as well as a distraction from his crush on Miss Pillsbury. He truly wanted to take over the glee club, though and make it even better than his. He had loved his glee experience but he believed that it could have been better and he wanted to share that vision with the students at William McKinley High School. It might even bring back his love for teaching that he had lost over the years due to the lackluster involvement of the students in learning over their place in the social structure. He supposed that was why he ignored the jocks at the dumpster even though he knew what was going to happen next as well as the slushies that marked random students in the hallway. The culture of WMHS had not changed since before he attended and he knew it would continue long after no matter what he tried to do to stop it. It was the mentality of most of the teachers, he had noticed. However, there was nothing he could do because Figgins would do nothing that would jeopardize the money that the jocks brought into the school even if the football team had not won a game since he was a student. Most importantly though, he could live with status quo as it was as long as he could keep his job and hopefully keep glee club alive.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A closer look at what it means to be Kurt Hummel.

**Chapter: Kurt's Fabulous Life**

**Date: July 31, 2014**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.**

The start of sophomore year had actually gone better than Kurt had expected since Rachel had gotten Mr. Ryerson fired for being an ephebophile. With him out of the way, Kurt actually wanted to be involved in glee club because he did not have to feel uncomfortable with the looks that that man was constantly throwing his way. Which is why he had signed up despite the fact that Rachel Berry was going to be in the club as well. As is the pattern with Kurt's life though, the good start to the year did not mean that the pleasantness would continue and it did not.

It was a single moment of inattention at the bi-annual Parent Teacher Conference that had opened up the gates to Hell. He had went with his father as he had done since middle school in order to translate from teacher-speak to Burt-speak. They had just finished covering the formalities, as that was all that was needed in regards to Kurt's sparkling academic record, and Kurt had for once decided to indulge in some of the refreshments that had been provided by the school (damn puberty and the burgeoning appetite it brought with it) when it happened. His dad had been preparing to leave in order to get to bed early so that he could open the shop early in morning when he saw _her_. His father had cut himself off mid-sentence which drew Kurt's assessing eyes from the plethora of finger foods at the table to his father's distant gaze. By the door was a pack of women that the young teen had named the Single Mom Club and he had assumed that it was one of those women that Burt had been dumbstruck by. So he had swallowed the still lingering grief and encouraged his lonely father.

"Mom would never be mad at you for finding a bit of happiness after her death, Dad. Go ahead."

Kurt gave his father a gentle nudge and turned back to grab the last few cubes of cheese to go with his carrots and crackers. When he turned back around to make sure his dad did not need to be saved from making a fool out of himself, Kurt froze for a long moment as he recognized the woman that his father was openly flirting with at that moment: Carol Hudson. Oh hell, that was just what he needed after last year's debacle involving that woman's son, Finn. He was tempted to walk over there and completely trash the whole situation until he saw the look on his dad's face. There was a spark in his eyes that had not been there since before his mother died and Kurt was not going to be the one to snuff it out. He would suck it up and do everything he could to see his dad happy again. He would give them a few weeks to see if it actually went anywhere and then he would see about burying the hatchet with Finn. He did not want any misunderstandings between them when the time came for them to become a family. Kurt had already decided to just get over his crush as soon as he had been outed and seen the look on Finn's face when people were talking about it and this situation just reinforced his determination to do so.

* * *

After almost a month of dating between his dad and Carol, Kurt decided that their relationship was the real deal. Therefore, Kurt chose to befriend the woman that made his dad act like a teenage boy in love as well as to show her that he supported their relationship and what it might mean for the future of all of them. He helped her move her wardrobe and her look into the twenty-first century and gave her some inside advice about his dad. He also asked, for the moment at least, that she not ask for Friday night dates because those evenings were of special importance to Kurt. Carol had easily agreed and had lived up to that agreement because even though she did not know the reason behind it, she did see and sense how much it meant to Kurt. For Kurt, this just continued to impress upon him how good of a choice his dad had made and it made him like Carol all the more. He could see her as a potential step-mother and he already saw her as a friend. He would make things clear between him and Finn because he could honestly see where this was going and he wanted to make the transition as smooth as possible for all of them when the time finally came.

His first step was to deal with Rachel and her scheming despite the fact that Finn already had a girlfriend and was fairly happy with her. While the rest of the club seemed oblivious, the teen could see a plotting diva from a mile off because like notices like. It was why he and Berry could not stand to be in each other's presence for more than an hour at a time. And if he got some retribution for that scene she had caused in eighth grade that had ended with him being stranded on the roof of the school for six hours, well that was just a bonus. Kurt picked up his phone to make a few phone calls, he had a scheme of his own to accomplish.

The look on her face had been priceless when she had approached him and even though he knew that she had tried to use his diminishing crush against him in order to hurt him, the only thing he could think was that it was more amusing than anything. It proved to him just how quickly he was getting over his schoolboy crush on Finn and using his amusement to fuel him he had responded quickly and cuttingly.

"I know that I will never be on his radar because he is not gay, Rachel. However, unlike you I do not sabotage people for my own personal gain or to the true detriment of others. Finn has a girlfriend that he is happy with and you should be ashamed with yourself for wanting to come in between them while they are together. I merely made you over to look the same on the outside as you look on the inside: home wrecker. Even I have more respect both for myself and others than that." Before he could begin laughing in front of her at the look of absolute indignity on her face, Kurt excused himself to get to class. Now he could move on with one disaster averted, at least for the moment. He had no illusions that Rachel would not try again when the opportunity presented itself.

His next course of action was to attempt to become friends with Finn as he was working under the assumption that Finn knew that his mom was dating Kurt's dad. His conclusion was not without support as the couple had been talking about moving in with each other, so he figured it safe to believe that Carol had told Finn about the new developments in her love life. However, his assumption was proved false when Finn, in the middle of the crowded hallway, had dressed Kurt down about his nearly void crush on the jock. Even though he had wanted to be nice, his Ice Queen façade rose to the fore and before he could reign it back in, he had revealed to the glock the fact that their parents were dating when it was clear that Carol had yet to tell him and most likely with good reason. As soon as lunch came around, Kurt left a message on Carol's phone that he had let slip her relationship status in the heat of the moment and apologized for doing it without her permission. He also informed her that Finn had seemed rather upset by the revelation and that when the two had had a chance to talk, he would like the chance to apologize to Finn as well. Needless to say, glee was very tense that afternoon and Rachel was just a smug little bug in the corner at her perceived victory over him in regards to the football player. Things seemed to get better after that, but underneath the surface it was not so.

* * *

After dealing with his father's over enthusiastic bonding with Finn and the jock moving into the basement with Kurt, the flamboyant teen could feel the sinister tendrils of _something_ waiting beneath Finn's veneer of tolerance for their current living situation. It became more palpable as they dealt with the week's assignment for glee: Theatricality. It came to head one night when Burt had taken Carol out for a nice, relaxing dinner since she had spent the last eight days working as a favor for a friend. Kurt had redecorated the room and he had honestly tried to mix their two extremely different styles tastefully, but without Finn putting in any input it had been a bit difficult. It had also failed spectacularly if the jock's reaction was any indication. Any lingering feelings Kurt may have had for the other had died a quick death in the moment that he had said the F-word and in order to stop the vitriol that was spewing venomously from Frankenteen's lips, Kurt had quickly told Finn in his Ice Queen voice that by the end of the week all of the other's concerns would be addressed and a solution found to resolve the issue.

"Tell my Mom and Burt I'll be at Pucks tonight." The jock packed his duffle and then quickly left the basement.

Kurt did not give him any indication that he had heard the order, but waited until he heard the door shut to his basement before he gave in to the tears that had gathered in the corners of his eyes. He had received a startling revelation tonight and he needed to deal with his emotions before he attempted to deal with the problems that Finn had with him and especially in living in the same room as him. He spent a good hour wallowing before he forced himself to begin taking down everything in the room. What he could not return, he would incorporate into his previous room design and whatever money he got back he would give to Finn so that he decorate for himself.

After Kurt had informed them of Finn's whereabouts for the evening before closing himself in his room, Carol had called her son to make sure that he was okay and let him know that he could not run out on school nights like this. She was willing to let it go this time because she had sensed that something had happened and that both boys had needed their space. What she learned during that phone call was a bit upsetting but she was also going to give Kurt the benefit of the doubt because she knew that her son was prone to overreacting. This did not mean that she would leave Burt in the dark about it. She resolved that tomorrow she would talk with him and if necessary they would sit both of the boys down in order to get both sides of the story. The next morning she sat Burt down at lunch in the privacy of his office at the shop for their talk.

"Finn implied that Kurt has been making him uncomfortable." She tried to state plainly so as to give the conversation its due seriousness, but delicately because this was Burt's son and a very serious allegation.

"Did he say what specifically was making him uncomfortable?" Burt asked with caution. He did not want to jump the gun in anyway because it could mean hurting either one of the boys unnecessarily.

"He told me about Kurt's crush on him, the 'anonymous' notes in his locker, and he said that Kurt had been trying to look at him while using the bathroom. He also implied that Kurt was trying to 'convert' him last night when Kurt had revealed the new décor for the basement." Burt took a deep breath and held it for several long moment before letting it go.

"I can't say whether or not Kurt still has or has ever had a crush on Finn. What I can say is that no matter how strong Kurt may come off as to other people, he is fiercely protective of family and he has come to see both you and Finn as family. He would do everything he could to make sure that the both of you are happy even if it causes him to suffer. He is very much his mother's son when it comes to the people he loves. Secondly, the notes were anonymous. Ask anyone to describe Kurt, and anonymous is not a word that comes to mind. If he wants something done, if he wants someone to notice him, he stands out rather than hiding behind a piece of paper. For all Finn's knows, those notes could be from a _girl_ that is too afraid to talk to him face-to-face. Lastly, and please don't take this the wrong way, but they have to share that bathroom just as they share the room. If it was not for the fact that Kurt was as queer as a two-dollar bill, I doubt that Finn would have the same discomfort of sharing the bathroom as he does right now. I know my son and for the fact that he is gay, my boy is still very much naïve when it comes to anything more than kissing. Hell, the sexiest things he watches are his musicals and they if they so much as take their shirt off to imply sex, he covers his face or has to conveniently excuse himself to use the bathroom." Burt felt himself getting worked up at the thought of what Finn was accusing his son of.

"Okay, okay. I understand. I just wanted you to know how Finn was feeling because he does have a tendency to overreact and put his foot in his mouth. How about this evening we sit the boys down to see if we can resolve this or perhaps we should just start looking for a bigger house?" Carol interjected softly. She was not offended by what her boyfriend had said about her son because she knew the mentality he was exposed to at school, so she did not want Burt getting overly upset at teenage drama. She also did not want him to hear Finn during one of these moments without understanding some of his feelings behind it. Thus, she began to explain more in depth about what her son had told her of Kurt's crush. Burt's answer had been silence and so, she left in order to give him time to think.

* * *

By morning, Kurt was short on sleep and temper, but the decorations were down. He drifted through school, barely noticing his bullies beyond the fact that they had decided to escalate from merely shoulder checking him to getting in cheap shots at his arms and kidneys as he passed along the hallway. It was not hard for him to figure out why as Finn had gone to stay with Puck and it was more than likely that he had been painted as yet another predatory gay despite the fact that he had never approached the other teen in that fashion. It was these events that pushed Kurt to seriously consider an idea that he honestly was not yet ready to even think about. However, the events of glee that afternoon forced him to think seriously about it and decide that it was something that needed to happen soon.

"Kurt, did you seriously go all _gay_ on Finn last night?" Mercedes Jones, his brown sugar fellow diva, asked before he could even greet her. Her question was not silent either and the entirety of glee turned to look at him while Finn was conveniently absent from the room along with one Rachel Berry.

"Why, hello to you to Mercedes. I had a wonderful day today. How about you?"

"Don't pull that with me. Answer the question!"

"No, I did not go all _gay_ , as you put it, on Finn last night. We have to share a room for the time being and I tried to decorate it so that he would feel more at home, but as you must know, it was a complete failure." Kurt replied deadpan. He was tired and this entire confrontation in glee club, his supposed safe place, was not helping in the least. Mercedes got that look in her eye that just bespoke of her knowledge of Kurt's moods.

"Baby boy, I thought you had gotten over your crush. You're about to become family-" At this point, Quinn stepped in on her soap box.

"It's one thing for you to be what you are and everyone accepting your choice, but that does not give you the right to force your lifestyle on others." Kurt looked at her, around the room and then at Finn and Rachel as they finally entered the room with Mr. Schuester just behind them. He felt bile rise in throat as his heart sank low into his gut.

"I made a bad decorating choice, I did not and have not, at any point, attempted to force my 'lifestyle' choices on Finn. I do not have feelings for him anymore and even if I still did, I do not believe in the concept of rape." Kurt stated firmly, but he could already see that the glee members had drawn lines in the sand and it appeared that he was going to be all on his own for this one. Once again, Rachel Berry just had to stick her oversized nose into business that was none of her own.

"That's not what Finn says and he doesn't have any reason to lie-" She began and the effeminate teen cut her off quickly.

"I don't have any reason to lie either, Rachel. I have not now nor have I ever attempted anything towards Finn with more than platonic intentions."

"You sabotaged me!" She accused and there Kurt realizes that it was her that had informed glee of their disagreement. She and Finn had been hanging out a bit since Baby-gate, after he had released his anger at her for telling him, and there was no doubt that he had complained to the little dwarf about all of his problems with Kurt.

"You were trying to get him to cheat on Quinn!"

"And you were the one that introduced your dad to his mom so that you could get closer to him!" She screeched. The gleeks and glocks gasped in shock. Before Kurt could refute, the argument was terminated.

"Enough!" Mr. Schue finally interceded, but it was too late. The damage had been done. All Hummel had to do was look at all of their faces and especially Finn's to see that they were connecting dots and reaching conclusions that painted him as nothing more than a predatory gay. Even 'Cedes was looking at him as if she could not help but doubt his claims of innocence.

"Kurt, a moment please?" Mr. Schue asked as he opened the door to the office and the teen could do nothing more than obey. As soon as the door shut behind him, the teacher put a gentle hand on his shoulder before speaking softly.

"Kurt I understand what it means to be a young teen, but you have to understand that here things are not exactly accepting of your orientation, right. Whether or not you did anything," his expression clearly said that he believed that Kurt did do something, "it would be best if you just apologized to Finn so that we can put this whole thing behind us. Okay?" Kurt gaped at the man for several long seconds before he could pull himself together.

"No. I did not do what I have been accused of and I refuse to apologize for something I didn't do, for being who I am. You said glee was supposed to be a safe place for everyone, so why do I have to say sorry because of their prejudice?" Kurt could feel the tears building as well as the anger and the need to call the man out on everything he had done wrong so far.

"It is a safe place for you Kurt, but I also cannot make everyone happy all the time. This time the odds are just not in your favor and this close to regionals we don't need any more drama between the members. Please just apologize or…." The gay teen felt his anger reach boiling point, one wrong word away from becoming full-fledged rage.

"Or what?" Kurt sneered with his acute sense of foreboding. "…Let me make the decision for you; I quit." Kurt gripped his bag tighter, shrugged off the man's hand, opened the door and stormed out in righteous fury. As he left the glee room, he slammed the door with a force that only a slighted teen could manage. He needed to get the hell out of Lima, out of Ohio before it smothered him to death with the thick stench of homophobia.

* * *

As soon as Kurt arrived at home he set about cleaning out the second bedroom upstairs. It had been a nursery for him and then an office for his mom, but in recent years it had become a sort of memory room for him. When the Hudsons had moved in, Kurt had not yet been ready to give up that space and his dad and Carol had been content to build the addition onto the house in order for him to be able to keep what was left of his mom close. He took all the pictures, her favorite dress and a few pieces of jewelry she had had and stored them in his room to keep close. The rest of it he began to fold away carefully and sorted for either the Goodwill or the dump. Once he had everything sorted, he went to garage where his dad kept boxes on hand, set them up and began packing them with the things that would be given away. After he taped up the last box, he went down to the kitchen to get some trash bags to fill with all the items that had not made it to his room or into a box. He was so focused on his work that he had not noticed his dad and Carol watching him from the doorway until the final bag was filled and he was ready to begin moving the bags to the curb for pick-up.

"Heya buddy. Watcha doin'?" Burt asked as Kurt finally noticed their existence. The older man could see the tension rolling through the teen frame and it worried him a bit. That and he had been so adamant that this room remain untouched just a couple of weeks ago and now he had all but cleared it by himself. Something had happened, and Burt Hummel was hoping that it had less to do with the conversation he and Carol had just had than a semi-reluctance to give up his memory room.

"You were right dad. I need to accept that things are changing, that they will never be as they were so that I can move on. So Finn can have this room. It's better than spending all that money on an extension or even a new house and all the memories and tokens I want I will keep in my room. So everything in a box goes to charity and everything in a bag goes out. You can do whatever you want with the dresser and whenever you have time, you and Finn can move him up here. I would appreciate it if you make sure that he knows that he will be decorating his room himself." Burt was stunned and he could not help but think that this had more to do with last night, but for the moment he decided to let it go and not look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Thank you, Kurt." Both adults told the teen sincerely before they both moved in to help the youngest member of their family with clearing out the room.

It had been a long night, but between Kurt, Finn and Burt, they had moved all of the jock's furniture and clothes up two flights of stairs into the second bedroom. Finn had even apologized to Kurt and thanked him for what he had given up in order to make the glock more comfortable. Hudson had also promised to not to be so sensitive towards Kurt after Burt had played referee between the two boys and Kurt had told them plainly that he had just wanted to be friends with the other teen since their families were living together. The situation that they had been in was one that he had sincerely wanted to avoid and he told Finn and his dad in no uncertain terms, that his crush on Finn had died the moment he had learned that his dad was interested in the jock's mom. Despite this reconciliation at home, no such thing had happened at school or even for glee club. Kurt had already decided that he was not going to return unless they apologized and since it seemed that Finn was not going to man up and tell the club the truth, he decided to move on to greener pastures. In particular, he decided to take Coach Sylvester up on her offer and re-join the Cheerios. The fact that it would get the football team to back off with their violence was a nice bonus and an extra incentive.

* * *

For a while, things were decent again as Kurt had less bruising than even before the Finn Incident although Coach Sue had replaced them with screaming muscles from brutal practice routines. She had also increased Kurt's lung capacity to an inhuman level since she expected him to do a fourteen minute French medley of Celine Dion songs whilst doing the same routine as the Cheerios. She even had him singing while being one of the flyers on the team (do you know how hard it is to carry a melody while performing a basket toss)! Despite the excruciating and time consuming practices, Kurt was able to lead the Cheerios to their 12th National Championship with a five minute live-broadcasted interview immediately after. He had felt on top of the world and it had carried him through an entire day despite the ever present bullying until he had gotten pulled from class by Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury.

His dad had had a heart attack and fallen into a coma due to the lack of oxygen to his brain before he had arrived at the hospital. Kurt had almost fallen apart when it came to the thought of losing his dad and even though the glee club had come together to support his dad, it had been on Finn's behalf, not his. It also damaged his relationship with his once best friend Mercedes even further because he was an atheist and she a devout Christian. It was just another nail in the coffin of Lima, Ohio for Kurt and he found that he was also losing his faith in people in general. The entire situation had given him a new appreciation for his dad and Kurt promised himself that he would work with his dad a little more. Time was a precious commodity and it was not guaranteed to anyone and he wanted to know, when the inevitable time would come, that he had spent all the time he could with his father. It was even more important to him since he was still planning to leave Smalltown, USA as soon as he could possibly manage after graduation and visits would be far and few between on a student's budget.

After his dad had been released, Kurt had found a golden opportunity to make a new friend in the new kid on the block. Since he was new, Kurt had stayed back to watch as he got the lay of the land and was pleasantly surprised that the new jock even knowing about his sexual orientation, did not harass or ignore Kurt's existence. So the gay teen decided that he would actively try to make friends with him and had started with teasing the guy about his hair color. Sam Evans had responded with mock indignation and proceeded to confound Kurt with various impersonations of his favorite characters from movies to comics. It was nice to have someone that looked passed the fact that he was gay and did not assume that his every action had some nefarious intent behind it. However as all things in Kurt's life up to this point, his newfound happiness was not meant to last.

Finn had tried to persuade the new football quarterback away from Kurt first because he sincerely had the guy's best interest at heart. He had tried using his own story as evidence but the shorter teen had just called him bigoted and close minded. He had then proceeded to tell Finn that as Kurt's supposed brother, it was his job to look after Kurt and not hurt him by trying to stop him from having male friends just because he happened to be gay. Kurt had not once made a pass at Sam in any manner and Sam believed that the diva was funny, smart and very kind despite the hate that he faced every day. When Finn had retorted that he was just painting a bulls-eye for bullying on his back, Sam had just asked the taller teen to leave because he obviously did not use the ears attached to his underdeveloped brain. With his attempt at persuading Evans away from Kurt a failure, Finn went after the source of the perceived conflict.

"Kurt, he is not like you. You need to leave him alone."

"Sam is my friend Finn. How could you even ask me that?" Kurt was indignant. Where did Frankenteen get off telling him who he could and could not be friends with considering the fact that he was partly at fault for the fact that Kurt's previous friends were not even acknowledging his existence?

"I may know that you just want to be friends, but no one else will see it that way. You are making him a target just like you. If you really wanted to be a friend to him, you would make sure that he doesn't have end up hurt because out on that field a lot of accidents can happen. No one would be blamed for it either."

"That is a horrible thing to say, Finn. Friendship is a two-way street you know and it is not like I just walked up to him without him knowing what he was in for. He knows I'm gay and he knows what being a friend to me might mean for him and unless he comes to me himself and says that he doesn't want to be friends, our conversation is over. Now please leave me alone because I'm sure your talking to me might lower your status in front of your jock buddies." Kurt stomped off in fury as he replayed Finn's words in his mind over and over again. He had forgiven Finn for the last stunt because it was one thing to accept that someone was gay and another thing entirely to live with it, but this was just inexcusable.

Kurt decided that talking to his dad was his best choice of action. He was sure that he might do or say something he would regret if he did not vent his anger productively. He found the house empty when he got home because Carol was working a double and Finn would be busy with football for the next hour or so before going out with Rachel or maybe it was Quinn again. He was not really sure any more as the other teen bounced between the two girls like a whore turns tricks on a corner. His dad was sitting on the couch watching TV as he continued to recover from his heart attack and prepared for his stress test in less than a week. Kurt dropped his bag at the door in a worryingly out of character move before curling up on the couch next to his dad. After several minutes of silence, Kurt began to tell his father about the encounter he had had with Finn that day.

"He implied that I was trying to prey on Sam and then tried to say that I would be at fault for anything that happened to Sam on the football field just because I was associated with him." Kurt huffed another annoyed breath but he had to admit that he did feel better than he had when he walked through the door.

"Is Sam gay, Kurt?" Burt asked softly as he did not really want to offend his son on such a sensitive topic.

"No. He's been trying to get Quinn Fabray to notice him but she is still hung up on Finn."

"I'm not saying he's right, but perhaps you should give Sam the chance to get more settled before being friends with him. He is under the microscope right now and the other students will be looking for anything to terrorize the new kid over." Burt tried to explain reasonably.

"So you're saying that I should not be friends with Sam because I'm gay." Kurt's voice had gone flat and blank.

"No! I'm just saying that with everything that has happened recently that he should just get the chance to be more settled before you go after him." Kurt's eyes went cold and his face was stone as he pulled away from his dad.

"'…Before I go after him.' You think I went after Finn and now I'm trying to go after Sam," Kurt held his breath for the answer to his statement. Burt looked everywhere but at his son as he tried to think of a way to say what he meant without hurting his son's feelings too much.

"Well after the disagreement you and Finn had, Carol and I were talking about where Finn's feelings of discomfort were coming from. That was when she told me about the crush and about everything that had gone on before and around the time we met. You were not exactly blameless, Kurt. And you were the one to introduce us, so…to an outsider, like most of the school, it looks kinda bad." Burt finally looked to his son and what he saw worried him. The teen had completely closed down. His eyes were staring coolly at his father, his lips in a thin line that reminded him of his wife when he had said something or done something he really should not have and his shoulders were hunched in making him smaller and look younger than he actually was.

"I do not remember introducing you to Carol, but I understand what you are trying to say," was all that Kurt murmured in a tightly controlled voice before he got up off the couch, grabbed his bag and disappeared downstairs while his father watched with a heavy heart from the couch. It looked like he had messed up, but he did not feel like he had done anything wrong. He had just wanted to Kurt to see what it had looked like from an outsider's point of view. He hoped that allowing him time to cool off and think would ease the tension and upset he had seen as the teen left the room. Otherwise, he had absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do. He could not allow Kurt to play the victim all the time because it would become an excuse every time he did not get his way, but he also did not want to do anything that would hurt his son.

Downstairs, Kurt allows the pain and anguish to wash over him, letting his tears of hurt and frustration spill over before burying his head in his pillows and screaming with all of his fury. However, his decision had been made and the next day he would talk to Sam and cut off their association. It was better to be alone semi-voluntarily than to have another person taken from him due to the prejudice of everyone else. That night there was no rest for one Kurt Hummel.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter: Don't Breathe**

**Date: August 2, 2014**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.**

After ending his budding friendship with Sam due to the absolute non-support from everyone in his life, Kurt threw himself into getting out of Ohio by working on appealing to colleges out of state. He was not taking any chances that he would get stuck in the hellmouth that was Lima, thus he was not throwing all his eggs in one basket as he might have before one Finn Hudson had decided to butt into his life with the belief that he knew what was best. Kurt had three separate goals to look forward to in order to leave: the performing arts, fashion design and his academics in general as he was thinking he would own his own business one day and a degree in business administration would go a long way towards that goal.

For his performing arts portfolio, Kurt realized that he had no choice but to recruit Lauren Zizes if he wanted to ensure that his performances were not diminished by his admittedly limited amount of skill with electronics. She was easy to convince with a monthly supply of his homemade chocolate bars that had his special, secret recipe strawberry filling and promises that copies could be made for some of the geeks that wanted to get into schools that specialize in their field. He was also able to get the help of several of the Cheerios, those not associated with Glee or under the thumbs of certain female Glee members in uniform, when he needed more than just himself to pull off a performance. He did solos, duets and group numbers to show that not only could he hold his own but that he could also work well with others. He demonstrated with earlier clips that he would work hard to improve his weaknesses such as dancing which had been helped along by his career as a Cheerio.

His academic portfolio did not need much help, but he decided to run for student government even though he knew that he would not be elected to any position due to his status in the hierarchy. It was more a filler to show that he had determination, drive and initiative beyond what his grades could tell the individuals that would be reviewing his application. He made sure to include the work that he does for his father by gathering reviews and surveys from both his father and his father's employees. In his essays, he informed the potential schools about his mechanics license or his hope to own a fashion line. As something extra, he included a business plan for each field to prove his determination to do succeed. He also used some of his academic portfolio laterally to coincide with his applications for fashion or business school.

Kurt's fashion portfolio had been reserved to just himself and his unique tastes for quite some time, so he took a weekend to go up into the city in order to explore fashion in a broader sense. He looked at the type of apparel that was being promoted in the stores and compared that to the styles that consumers were actually wearing. He had mini-interviews with several individuals, making sure to record them once he received permission, about their fashion style and what kind of styles they would experiment with to improve current fashion. Once he had completed his research, Kurt set about drawing various designs that played with multiple styles or improved upon an existing theme. He made several pieces that he believed to be his best works in both the male and female arena, so that he could put them on an actual model. Once again, he used the Cheerios, most especially Brittany who was always to help out her 'unicorn.' The team was quite happy to do it on the very easy condition that Kurt redesign the Cheerios uniforms so that they were more comfortable and movable than the current uniforms and especially the winter sets due to the fact that they left the cheerleaders absolutely freezing.

While he was content with the work that he currently had, Kurt knew that over the next year he would be editing, adding and subtracting items and ideas involved with each portfolio he had created. For the moment, he would have to be happy that he was doing everything he could to get as far away from Lima and Ohio as possible. He had even found an early start program for business administration in Rhode Island that would allow him to complete his senior year of high school and his freshman year of college at the same time. The only thing putting a stopper in that plan at the moment was getting his father to agree and letting him leave the nest a year early. However, he had some time to think about that before actually broaching the subject.

* * *

Ever since that 'Talk,' Burt's relationship with his son had cooled to the point of being ice cold. It was not that Kurt was avoiding him or not talking to him, but he was shutting him out in a way that made it impossible to tell what the boy was thinking. For instance, when Burt and Carol had announced they were getting married, Finn had taken it well compared to when he had found out they were dating, but Kurt had been indifferent. Despite the smile on his face and the hugs that he had given, Burt had just known that there was no real emotion behind the mask. The smile was cold and hard but fragile like porcelain and the hugs had been bereft of heart and genuine emotion. He knows that the cause is rooted in that 'Talk' but he cannot exactly pinpoint where Kurt shut him out since most of the conversation had had the effect of Kurt being on the defensive. He wanted his vibrant and flamboyant son back, but he just did not know where to begin because Kurt was not allowing any leeway for them to talk about anything dealing with that 'Talk' or even his sexuality anymore.

For Kurt it was just a protective measure against learning his father's true feelings about his orientation. The youngest Hummel knew that it was hard on his father to not only have a gay son, but to be such an open and loving parent in spite of it. The conversation that had occurred on that day had planted a terrible seed of doubt within him and shutting down any attempts to nurture it with further talk about the subject was his way of protecting himself from the knowledge that his father might not be as tolerant of his sexuality as Kurt had come to believe. This defensive mechanism had radiated outward to protect him from everything, including his current state of loneliness.

Kurt no longer freely engaged with Carol, he completely avoided Finn whether they were at home or at school and he did not acknowledge anyone from glee club. It was to the point that he thought of himself as nothing but a ghost that was merely passing through. He was waiting for time to pass so that he could move on to a better place and he continued to remind himself to wait just a little bit longer during those moments when he felt weak enough to want to break down, to end it in the easiest way possible, when waiting seemed like too much in and of itself.

* * *

As was the pattern with the youngest Hummel, Kurt's life became worse after he had run into David Karofsky while at Carrie's Movie Theater in the next town over in the men's bathroom. It was rather dead since they were only showing older movies at the matinee this particular weekend, so they were completely alone in the cramped, tiled space. Kurt had been content to ignore the guy and since none of the other jocks appeared to be present, he had hoped that the linebacker could ignore him as well, but it was not meant to be.

"On a date with yourself, Ladyboy. …Ya' know, since you're the only person who likes you?" The jock laughed cruelly and Kurt just snapped. With everything that had been going on and the loneliness closing in around him, Kurt had just had enough with people picking at his sore spots over and over again. He gave back better than he had gotten.

"Then what does that make you? You are just as alone because no one thinks highly of an oversized, ordinary, crass, classless, third-rate show-off that stinks of B-O and CheezBalls whose hairline will begin receding before he's thirty and already has the making of the most unattractive beer-gut imaginable to man-kind! At least I have enough brain cells between my ears to want to be better than losers like you whom will never be more than has-beens trying to live vicariously through the lives of their carbon-copy, just-as-unfortunate, future progeny." Kurt was panting with anger and incoming fear by the end of the rant while Karofsky remained frozen under the beating that was Hummel's verbal smack-down.

Kurt immediately attempted to excuse himself, so he could leave even though he had not finished his movie, his day was ruined anyway, but the hockey player blocked his exit and grabbed him harshly. All the effeminate boy could feel was two oversized, beefy hands squishing the delicate skin of his face before two chapped lips with the lingering taste of soda and candy landed squarely upon his own. It was Kurt's turn to be frozen though he did not know if it was from shock or fear. His emotions quickly ran to outrage as the jock pulled back and just as quickly turned back into fear as he tried to avoid a second kiss. Karofsky was stronger and the knowledge that they were almost certainly alone had bolstered his confidence in attempting to take what he wanted. The linebacker was able to get his second kiss, but before he could think of anything else beyond that kiss, Kurt struck hard and true.

"St-stay away from me!" Was all the smaller male had to say as he quickly moved away from the older boy that was now curled up in the fetal position on the floor, cupping his injured pride after the blow it had received from Kurt's knee.

Sadly that was not the last that Kurt had seen of the hockey player. In fact, the jock assaulted him and tormented him more than usual. In conjunction with the increased hostility from Karofsky, the entire hockey team and some of the football team as well had become more eager in their dealings with Kurt. It was to the point that the former glee member was beginning to seriously fear for his own safety both within and out of the school. This increasingly volatile situation was also putting more strain on Kurt's relationships at home because he knew that he could not trust Finn to even want to try to understand what actually happened, Carol was already wary of him due to the last situation and his dad was still recovering from his heart attack as well as having an admitted sympathy for the so-called 'outsiders.' Most unfortunate, as is everything in his life as of late, things went from bad to worse.

* * *

Kurt was cornered in the hallway just before Cheerios practice by Azimio. The jock had shoulder checked him with enough force that his head had slammed fiercely enough into the lockers that he was seeing bright clusters of stars in his vision. Before he could regain his bearings enough to deal with the situation at hand, Kurt feels himself being lifted like a sack of potatoes and the swaying of movement. By the time his vision has cleared, the only openly gay student at McKinley High found himself on the ground surrounded by his frequent and most violent tormentors with Karofsky seemingly leading the bunch. In truth, the jock had been given the pleasure of the first swing due to story he concocted surrounding the injury he gained from Kurt's knee in the theater bathroom. He bent down close over Kurt to whisper his warning.

"Tell anyone anything and I will make it the last thing you ever do. Consider this your only warning," Karofsky leaned back and threw the first blow before speaking once more. "Don't just stand there boys, Fancy here has been getting too big for his panties. I think we need to show him exactly where he stands." The signal had been given and Kurt could think of nothing as he cried out in pain, anger and fear. He felt nothing but empty, there were no thoughts running about haphazardly in his mind. Everything was blank and in that moment, he preferred it that way.

Shortly after the flamboyant teen had lost consciousness, the group of attackers scattered due to the sound of footsteps approaching. Coach Sylvester despises tardiness and had just sent her most formidable Cheerio and her girlfriend to find the flamboyant teen. Santana and Brittany had met up with Puck along the way, who was cutting football practice for whatever reason, who was the first to identify the familiar sound of flesh pounding into flesh. He led the girls down the hall to see what it was, only for the group to be nearly bowled over by a flood of jocks. As they were so busy trying to avoid being trampled, they did not have the wherewithal to take in faces. Once the stampede had passed, they went into the room where it had originated from and came upon a horrible sight.

The boy was covered head to toe in bruises, some bruises so vibrant that shoe prints could be seen, as well as his own blood. It was obvious that his nose had been broken from the new angle that it was perched at and a couple of his fingers had suffered as well. His face was a mess of bruising, blood and cuts that painted a very disturbing image that had Brittany in tears and Santana reluctantly looking away so that she did not relive what she had eaten that day. It was Puck who was able to keep himself together enough to call for emergency services and listen to the operator as they asked questions and gave directions regarding helping the unconscious teen. Santana and Brittany left to inform the front office and lead the paramedics to Kurt.

* * *

By the time Kurt arrived at the hospital, the medics had had to puncture a hole in his intercostal muscle in order to inflate his collapsed lung and they were still too close to losing him. The beating that the teen had taken meant a noticeable amount of blood loss and more dangerously, it meant that he was suffering from an even greater amount of internal bleeding. Kurt was at a serious risk of drowning in his own blood if they could not treat the damage to his internal organs quickly. For the young man, it meant going under the knife on the surgeon's table in order to save his life and there was no guarantee that he would recover 100% of his previous health should he make it through this alive. It was nearly twenty-four hours later that the surgeon emerged to speak with Burt and Carol Hudson-Hummel about Kurt's condition.

"Against all odds, we have stabilized your son. However, in order to aid with healing and preventing re-injury, we put Kurt in a medical coma. He sustained multiple fractures of his ribs, both radii, both ulnas, left femur, a shattered left patella, both tibulae, both fibulae, four fingers on his left hand, one finger on his right, and shattered his right cheek along with a broken nose. His spleen was ruptured and had to be removed, both kidneys are severely bruised and to relieve the stress on them we have temporarily placed him on dialysis. His liver, stomach, and intestines were also severely bruised and we had to repair a puncture of the right upper lobe of his lung."

By this point, Burt was barely standing as it felt like his world was crashing and burning at his feet. Despite the fact that he knew his son would live, it was far too close to the memory of losing Kurt's mother Elizabeth. It took his breath away that he could have possibly lost his son and more importantly, that he could have lost his son while they were at odds with each other even if Kurt had tried to act like they were not.

"H-How long will he be…i-in the coma?" He had tried to ask without sounding like he had been suckered punch, but it was of no use.

"Just for the first week or so. We will be monitoring him closely, so if he is doing well it is possible that he could come out of the coma early. Right now, it is totally up to Kurt what happens in the next few weeks." With that the doctor concluded and began to make his way back to his stable but still critical patient. In all his years, he had never seen an episode this bad from McKinley as the staff usually prevented things from going this far. It also meant that he was left with no choice but to report the incident to the state authorities. McKinley High and especially Kurt Hummel would be placed under the microscope in order to ensure that yet another columbine does not occur in the Ohio State Public School System.

Burt did not leave Kurt's side the entire week and three days that his son had been held under a medically induced coma. He remained vigilant at the teen's bedside until the doctor flushed his system of the drugs that kept him under and Kurt finally opened his eyes. Once he had spent most that day reassuring himself that his son would in fact live, and mostly intact, Burt finally returned home to his wife and stepson. They needed to have a heart to heart, face to face talk before Kurt came home. They needed to clear the air and resolve problems so that whatever tension was between them would finally come to a close or as close to being resolved as was possible without Kurt actually present.

"I know that Kurt having had a crush on you made you uncomfortable in the beginning and that you will never be comfortable sharing a room with him, but I believe that he has more than proved that he no longer thinks of you that way. He gave up his memory room so that you would be more comfortable and feel welcomed in our home.

Everyone is entitled their first crush no matter what their orientation and it is time that we move past Kurt's old crush on you so that we can come together as a real family. Being a family means that we need to be able to compromise and understand that we cannot get our way all the time. More importantly, now that we are a family, Kurt is your younger brother. As the elder, it is your duty to look out for him when we, the parents, cannot. You need to step up to the plate, son and look after your brother because family looks after one another no matter our differences. You understand what I am trying to say?"

Finn nodded in confirmation, but the look on his face was anything but reassuring. He did not really have a problem with Kurt or his sexuality, at least not anymore, but he also did not want to be associated with Kurt at school any more than he was already. He had already fallen down the social ladder once and he was not willing to do so again for Kurt who practically screamed his 'otherness' in the faces of the masses at school. This tragedy only reaffirmed his determination to separate himself as much as possible. It was not his fault nor his responsibility to protect Kurt from his own inability to fit in and shut up when the situation called for it.

Burt looked at Carol, whom nodded in agreement, before looking back despondently at the boy that represented everything that Kurt would never be. As much as he cared for Finn, his son came first and since it was clear that Finn was reluctant to look out for his brother at school for whatever reason he may have, it meant that the Hudmel family would have to use Plan B in order to ensure that Kurt had a safe environment in which to learn, socialize and grow as an individual.

"Well, your mother and I have decided that since the bullying has gone this far without anyone stepping in, for Kurt's safety we are removing him from McKinley and transferring him to Dalton Academy for Boys in Westerville. They have zero tolerance for bullying as well as a more challenging curriculum. It is a private school with limited scholarships this late in the year, so you will not be getting that new car we had talked about. That money will be going towards Kurt's tuition."

"What?!" Finn protested loudly. However, Carol was the one to reign him in with just a single look. Finn had had his chance and he had blew it. He had decided that his brother was less important than the transient stage of pubescence known as high school. Therefore, he would learn what consequences and sacrifices awaited him at the end of every decision he made. Even though he had quieted, he had made his displeasure known by excusing himself brusquely and slamming his bedroom door. The two parents sighed at the situation they now found themselves in and wondered where they went wrong so that things had come to this point. Meanwhile, Finn had called Rachel in order to tell her about everything that had gone wrong and he had made it clear that it was Kurt's very existence that had caused his world to collapse and implode upon itself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter: Open the Door**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.**

The first week after Kurt returned home from the hospital was absolute torture. Finn found any reason possible to stay away from home so that he would not be forced to help the injured teen that he believed was always playing the victim when he no one but himself to blame for his situation. It was a major adjustment period for Kurt though, as he was forced to allow either his dad or Carol to help him with simple tasks that he had taken for granted before his beating, like being able to use the bathroom on his own, fix himself a snack or sleep in whatever fashion he wanted. The homosexual, young man also had to come to terms with the fact that with the injuries he sustained, there was a real possibility that he would never be able to reach his dream of Broadway. After three days of tears, Kurt was able to comfort himself with the knowledge that he was not a one trick horse. Even if he could never perform as he had, he would still be able to get out of Lima with his other talents. A silver lining appeared when Kurt found out he was being transferred from McKinley.

Even though Kurt had not been cleared to return to normal activities, such as school, Burt and Carol began the process of transferring the young teen to Dalton Academy. The process was fairly quick due to the danger surrounding Kurt's situation in spite of it being the middle of the year. It had been a devastating blow to find that even with the state authorities involved, that the football team would never be punished for their crimes against him. Instead it was made out to be his fault because of the way he flaunted himself (the state agents were Ohio natives and their roots showed in the fact that they acted the part of small-minded idiots) and the players were being protected by not only the local law enforcement but by the school and its staff as well. Even Coach Sylvester's hand were bound. However, for the moment the concern of the bullies was waylaid by Kurt's fortunate opportunity to attend the prestigious academy for boys.

They also gave him a scholarship to help with boarding fees and various student activities so that he would be able to participate in extra-curricular events at the school with his classmates. In addition to everything else, Kurt would have to attend sessions with the school counselor twice a week as an effort to help him move past the trauma and to acclimate him smoothly into his new environment. The new student was to have a room to himself as well due to all the other boys having been paired off the year (it was considered to be in Kurt's best interest due to his mental state).

* * *

It had been a week since Kurt had begun his new life at Dalton Academy and even though he had breathed in relief at not having to return to McKinley, he was still wary of his classmates despite the zero tolerance policy especially those larger than he. At the moment, his biggest issue was his annoyance at the Asian senior that had been following him for the last forty-eight hours. Wesley Montgomery, known as Wes to everyone but his mother, had heard Kurt singing to himself in the junior commons while he was completing his French homework and had immediately begged him to audition for the Warblers. The effeminate teen had declined on the basis of not knowing who they were which had led to a one hour rant about the Dalton glee club. He had still refused the older teen saying that he had too much on his plate already, thanked him for the offer and promptly left for his room. The Asian had followed him the entire way there attempting to get him to change his mind until Kurt entered his room and shut the door in his face. However, Kurt was not able to escape as the senior was waiting for him the very next morning and this time he had brought along his friend, David.

After forty-eight hours of perseverance, Kurt gave in and agreed to audition. Wes gave him a bright smile and told him to arrive in the senior commons at 5:00pm Thursday evening to try out. Kurt arrived half an hour early with a set of nerves he had not had since the first time he wore a trailing sweater in middle school. However, he walked through those doors at five o'clock with his head held high and gave the best performance he had had to date with 'Don't Cry for Me Argentina.'

His spirits lasted through the silence that followed him as he left so that the present members could approve or deny his application to their club, but they fell quickly when a dapper young man with hard-capped, gelled hair had told him not to try so hard next time. Kurt returned to his room as quickly as his braced leg would let him rather than await the verdict that the silence announced and the other teen had verified with his advisory statement. He had thought it was a great song to go with because it was one of his favorites and had not thought that he had done so badly that it came off as trying too hard.

For the next three days, Kurt became a master at avoiding Wesley whom did not know when to leave well enough alone. He had already humiliated himself and he did not wish to have the pushy Asian rub salt in one of his numerous wounds. Unfortunately, three days grace was all he was given before Wes cornered him coming out of his last class for the day which had ran a bit late.

"Could you please just leave me alone?" Kurt sighed tiredly.

"Kurt! I have been trying to talk to you for the past three days. You didn't even wait to whether or not you passed the audition before you were just…gone!"

"Yes…well after some well-placed advice and the fact that I did not want to join in the first place, I decided to save myself the trouble and put my effort into doing well in my classes. Now, if you excuse me, I have homework I would like to finish before dinner since I am leaving for the weekend." Kurt tried to pass the taller teen, but was blocked once more.

"What are you talking about Kurt… the Warblers approved your application. You are now a probationary Warbler." Wes looked at Kurt in concern. Now that he was observing the younger male more closely, he could see bags under his eyes and a rather depressed, defeated slump to his shoulders.

"That's great Wes, but I honestly don't think I am up to participating." With that final statement, Kurt was finally able to pass by the older teen and make his way back to his solitary room. At least there he did not have to deal with the fickleness that are other human beings.

Wes watched him go and wondered what had made the boy act that way. He had thought that Kurt was excited on audition day, but since then, it just looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Something was wrong, something had happened and whether Kurt accepted it or not, he was now a Warbler and they had to do something about their newest member. The Asian teen decided to call an emergency meeting: the Warblers had things to discuss and a plan to make.

* * *

Kurt was not happy when he returned to school that Sunday afternoon. His weekend had been a disaster thanks to Finn's idiotic decision to invite Rachel and several of the football players to their house for the last of the good weather cook out that they were having. Kurt had stayed in his basement downstairs with the door locked and his windows blacked out with various craft items he had lying about. Burt had not been happy about it either because he had forgotten to specify that Finn should not invite any friends and most especially his jock friends whom were suspected, but were never proven, to have been Kurt's attackers. It was supposed to have been a strictly family only event, but the overly tall teen took dense to a whole new low. It had put Kurt in a bad mood for the rest of the weekend and he had been so eager to return to Dalton that he had taken his leave of home four hours ahead of what he had planned.

Returning had been no better though, as Kurt was met at his door by the teen who had been oh so kind when giving him 'advice' after his audition. He was just standing there at his door with a hand full of flowers looking at his feet before he heard to tell-tale clack of Kurt's shoes on the marble floors. Kurt sighed in disgust as he witnessed the kicked puppy-dog eyes on the handsome face before him. He stopped in front the other only because his door was blocked by the muscular body only partially hidden by the Dalton uniform (and who wears those on the weekends?!).

"Can I help you?" Kurt was too tired at this point to sound like his usual Ice Queen self or put up his Queen Bitch face. He really just wanted this over with so that he could just get on with his life. He was at a pretty low point at the moment and he was afraid that any more blows to his self-esteem or his person in general would happily knock him over the edge.

"I'msorry," was the rushed reply "I'm sorry," he said again slower. Kurt merely raised an eyebrow at the dapper teen.

"I should not have said that to you. I haven't had any real competition before and I was jealous and afraid of you. That does not excuse my actions though. I really am sorry." The boy held out the hand with flowers and Kurt found himself lost in the sincerity reflected in those gorgeous golden eyes. He took the flowers and nodded his acceptance before offering his free hand to the slightly shorter male.

"My name is Kurt Hummel," he introduced himself. The other teen took the offered hand before introducing himself as well.

"Blaine Anderson." The two boys smiled at each other in understanding before Blaine escorted Kurt to the Warblers council room.

After their initial turbulent meeting, Kurt and Blaine became fast friends as well as duet partners as it soon became apparent that Kurt's range meant a Pandora's Box worth of song choices had been opened up to the Warblers. It had been surprising and a bit emotional for Kurt to see and feel how appreciated his talent was, where it was showcased rather than hidden due to its uniqueness in today's society. After all, countertenors are rare in males after the age of puberty and the glee club at Dalton recognized the gem that they had accepted into their midst. Of it all, Kurt would have to say that the best thing about the private institution so far, was having met Blaine. Not only was the younger Warbler good-looking, smart and funny, he was also gay and Kurt was totally crushing on him. Their flirty interactions were the highlight of Kurt's life so far, let alone his day. It had Kurt floating on cloud nine for weeks before it came crashing down in a burning pile of ash.

What Kurt had thought was flirting between two gay teens, was merely Blaine being friendly and himself failing at communicating his interest in Blaine to other teen. He was embarrassed when he had found out that his advice before they left for the mall had not been Blaine's roundabout way of asking him out, but in asking out another guy who worked at the Gap, Jeremiah. Kurt had become a back-up singer for Blaine's attempt to ask out an older man that had absolutely nothing in common with Kurt. Then the shorter teen had had bluntly stated later on that the effeminate teen was "about as sexy as a baby penguin," which for Kurt was just yet another harsh blow to his already trampled self-esteem. The final blow was at the party at Rachel's that Kurt had let Blaine talk them into attending.

Kurt had not wanted to attend, but getting it from both his dad and Blaine about mending broken bridges and forgiveness and so on, Kurt had given in (mostly due to the fact that he was still head over heels for the other gay teen). However, at that party, the final nail in Kurt's coffin was Blaine's enthusiastic make-out session with Rachel and the next day, his defense of their budding relationship. Kurt could admit that most of his words had stemmed from his hurt, but he had just wanted the other boy to look at him, to see that he was right there, that he was available and that he _liked_ the stockier teen. Blaine had made it abundantly clear before he left in true diva style, that Kurt was not even a blimp on his radar. It hurt more than he had thought possible that Rachel was more attractive to Blaine than he. He just could not understand what he lacked that everyone else seemed to have.

Kurt had avoided the younger teen for the rest of the week as he came to terms with the fact even on an objective scale by his best friend, he was undesirable to even those of his same sexual orientation. It was a devastating blow to recover from and he also needed time to make sure that he could stop looking at Blaine again as anything more than a friend because he valued the relationship they did have too much to throw it away due to his overzealous imagination creating fantastical signs of possible relationships. It was this same exaggerated thinking that had landed him in 'The Incident' with Finn. That was when Kurt Hummel decided to just give up on that aspect of his life. He would never like women, but here in Lima he apparently would never attract men either and now, he was okay with that. He made himself okay with that because when he hit the streets of New York, a whole new world would be offered for him to explore. He could wait until then.

Rather than dwelling on yet another failure and disappointment in his short life, Kurt used what he was feeling to power his performances and it worked beyond his wildest imagining. At sectionals, Kurt's solo at the end of the set had led Dalton Academy to a unanimous victory over the other choirs. What made it even more surprising was the fact that he sang Disney's 'Reflection,' which had not been the song that he was supposed to have performed. For the Warblers, the win more than made up for the breach of etiquette that had occurred. However, it was regionals that gave Kurt pause because they were going against New Directions which meant that he would come face to face with Finn once more as he had not done since that disastrous weekend not so long ago.

* * *

When they arrived at McKinley High for regionals, Kurt thought for sure that he was going to lose everything he had eaten for breakfast. He had not realized just how much the attack had affected him until their limo pulled into the drop-off zone in front of the auditorium. His left knee was always going to give him issues without his brace during physical activity, but at least he could still dance. It was the part that ached most fiercely at the moment and it was only Blaine's comforting touch and the other Warblers encircling him like the secret service surrounds the President that allowed him to push through his fear and keep going. Rather than exploring as they normally would, the Warblers remained tight-knit in the wings of the stage until it came time for them to perform. On the up side, they were able to watch all of the other performances in order to see what kind of competition they had, especially their biggest competitors, the New Directions.

Kurt noticed that they had not changed a single thing. Rachel and Finn were the star duet of the show, followed by Rachel's ballad solo, and a group number that still heavily featured just Rachel and Finn's voices with Mercedes holding out the final note at the end for that 'diverse' feeling. For the Warblers, they had seen better at sectionals and were not worried in the slightest about beating out ND in their own house. For Kurt, it felt like vindication for all the crap he had gotten from the club for being too different, even amongst the outcasts that were glee club at McKinley. Once the others had finally cleared the stage, Kurt prepared to step into the light with the rest of the Warblers to show New Directions what show choir was really about.

Their first number was a group number that featured their bass, Andrew and the two tenors, Nick and Jeff. Next was Kurt and Blaine's duet that was traditionally sung by a male and a female, but they rearranged some of the song and substituted a verse in order to have it more appropriate for the two boys on stage. Though Kurt still sang the traditionally female arranged parts of the song. When it came to the solo, Kurt was the one to sing this time and had decided to do a controversial piece that summarized his feelings on New Directions. He had even made a costume for the song, with the permission and approval of the Warbler council this time: Le jazz hot. It showcased his entire range as well as exemplifying his dichotomous nature. Unknowingly, it also had William Schuester looking at him in a new light because he had never before taken the time to explore Kurt's full range, nor had he ever wanted to. He had to admit he had been prone to thinking of Kurt in terms of his school 'image.'

Now that he was exposed to it however, he was kicking himself for being so stupid because it was clear that Kurt had talent and his voice had completely captivated both the audience and the judges. He voice was a thrall as he vibrated from high to low notes with an ease that should not be possible for anyone of either sex. He could not even be disappointed when his club came in second to the Warblers as he was too focused on the praise that the judges had given the group. They had called Kurt a countertenor and had commended the Warblers for their exceptional thought and use of him during their performance.

Thus, the Dalton Academy Warblers had qualified for nationals which was held in Los Angeles and to no one's surprise at Dalton Academy, the Warblers won their first national show choir competition in almost a decade.

Sadly, as the year came to a close, Kurt had to say goodbye to Dalton for good due to the fact that his father did not have the wherewithal to pay for another year (or even another semester) at the school even with all of the scholarships that Kurt had qualified for. The silver lining is that one of his most aggressive bullies had moved away due a job opportunity for their father in another state. Kurt would no longer have to fear for his life because David Karofsky was no longer there come through on his threat despite the fact that Kurt would have never told in any case. Thus, Kurt Hummel was returning to the ignominious halls of William McKinley High School once more.

* * *

For summer, Kurt began to look for a second job. Despite their attempts to close the rift between Kurt and the rest of the family (note: Finn), Kurt remained steadfast in having nothing to do with the attempts. Since his return from Dalton, Kurt had refused to eat, watch TV or even exist in the same room as his stepbrother. He refused to work the same shifts as Finn at the garage which had been a scheduling nightmare, but Kurt was in charge of that anyway so the hassle was worth it. However, since Kurt only worked part time at the garage and had already extended his hours to the max, he needed something to do in his considerable off time to keep him away from Finn (and therefore, home since Finn was always there). Any time left after his two jobs saw Kurt spending locked inside his basement or driving to Westerville in order to hang out with his friends from Dalton, most notably Blaine.

Burt was worried about Kurt's avoidance of home and their family and that the young one was going to work himself into an early grave at the rate he was going. No matter what the eldest Hummel tried to do to figure out a way to bridge the gap, Kurt was resistant. He was never belligerent about it or disrespectful, but he was unmoving on the subject. He wanted nothing to do with his stepbrother and he made it clear that Burt himself was treading dangerously thin ice without having ever said a word about the issue. It hurt to see his son so unhappy, so miserable and so uncomfortable in his own home and it was weighing heavily on the man's broad shoulders.

Kurt was honestly doing everything that he possibly could in order to avoid Finn due to his indirect participation in Kurt's pain. He also did not want to give the jock anymore fuel to add to the fire, especially now that he was dating Rachel again. So, the less time he spent around the other teen meant he spent less time worrying or with his flashbacks and nightmares about the beating he had taken. As much as the taller teen refuted against it, he was of the same make and model as the Neanderthals that had beaten Kurt. He was just too dimwitted to act on his impulses. This sadly had the downside of his father trying harder to push the two together for the purposes of a reconciliation which Kurt was never going to participate in unless Finn came to him as a result of his sincere remorse. It was this situation that was making it so hard for the gay teen to continue spending significant amounts of time with his father.

He still loved the man, wanted to spend time with him, but Kurt was realizing just how far apart he and his father truly were now that Burt's 'ideal son' had appeared in the form of Finn. He was incredibly jealous, but at the same time he was glad that his dad had found the son he had obviously hoped Kurt would be, a son that would not bring the heavy burdens that Kurt bore because of his sexuality and unique personality. Even though his revelation had the side effect of distancing himself even further from his father, emotionally, Kurt felt that it was for the best. And so, Kurt continued to work two jobs and travel tens of hours a week in order to visit with his friends in Westerville, Santana, Brittany and surprisingly with Puck on occasion too while staying out of Finn and his dad's way. Just a little bit longer, and he could leave this nightmare behind for the beginning of a new dream.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Out** _

**Chapter: A Change of…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor make any profit from the writing of this fiction.**

Kurt had never dreaded school more than when the summer had ended, he had had to quit his job at the Lima Bean because he would no longer have the time. All too soon, the first day of school arrived.

In preparation for surviving the next and final year of his high school career, Kurt had decided to hold himself back by packing away his normal wardrobe and donning his 'McKinley Attire.' His new school look more closely resembled that of the guys at McKinley and Kurt hoped that it would help him to stay off of the radar of the 'elite' students. So it was to the shock of many that Kurt showed up to McKinley on a Monday morning in dark denim, straight-legged jeans with an equally non-descript, dark purple t-shirt (both were still designer as Kurt refused to stoop so low as to shop at _Wal-Mart_ for anything that was going to touch his well-cared for skin).

His hair was brushed neatly back away from his face though some of it had fallen back onto his forehead and into his right eye. It was not as bothersome as he had thought it would be because the trade-off for having less product in his hair was well worth the slight distraction that it provided. He skin was paler than it had ever been due to a lack of sun over the summer break as well as the fact that he had foregone adding color to his face after his moisturizing routine that morning. Kurt Hummel had transformed; so well, in fact, that many of the students he encountered did not recognize him until he spoke to return their greetings. It also meant that he had managed to escape the harassment of the various jocks standing around the dumpsters that morning (he had still brought three changes of clothes just in case).

By the time lunch rolled around on the first day of school, everyone knew about Kurt's new and (to them) improved look. It was all anyone wanted to talk about, especially the kids sitting at the Glee table which Kurt had not returned to. He had chosen to sit by himself instead rather than return to the glee 'family' that was even more dysfunctional than his own and most of whom were still actively shunning him. It had become the general consensus that the school approved of the young Hummel's more gender appropriate look and attitude.

To go along with his down-graded appearance, Kurt had also restrained himself in that he no longer provided his scathing commentary on the lacking fashion of both the guys and girls of McKinley High. He had remained unnaturally quiet in his classes, not even correcting them when the teacher made a mistake in the lesson or misspoke about some fact or another. And so, Kurt passed the first day of school without much hassle except one hiccup when Coach Sylvester came down the hallway while bulldozing unfortunate freshmen, who did not know to scram, out of her path and zeroed in on him. All she had done was give him his Cheerios uniform back and told him that he was expected at practice that afternoon and that she had already 'cleared' it with his doctor. Kurt had merely sighed softly once she had disappeared from sight and continued on with his day.

* * *

Kurt dragged himself slowly and gingerly through the door of the house as he wondered whether or not it was worth Sue's wrath to quit the Cheerios. Today had reminded him of the hell of her domain as his overworked muscles ached in places he had forgotten existed and he did not particularly enjoy the reminder of them. He had also brought home another surprise as one Sam Evans walked softly behind him into the Hudmel household behind the teen that had confused him for the longest time. The second string quarterback had demanded that he and Kurt talk because he wanted an answer as to why the gay teen had not only backed out of their partnership, but had stopped even acknowledging his existence before and even after he had left for Dalton Academy.

In an uncharacteristic display of untidiness, Kurt dropped his bag next to the couch before slowly trudging into the kitchen for water and healthy, pre-portioned snacks for him and his guest. Just as slowly he returned with his arms shaking slightly with the effort to hold up the meager weight. Sam was quick to spot the other's muscle fatigue and take the goods from him, setting them down on the coffee table before Kurt dropped them. After enjoying the light snack with a bit of awkward small-talk, Sam changed the topic to the reason why he was there.

"I want to know the real reason why you stopped being my partner. Was it something I did? After the duet battle, you wouldn't even look at me let alone speak to me unless it was for a glee project. I had thought we were getting along really well and then you just disappeared." Sam started off passionately, but became quieter as he went on and he traveled back in time through his memories. Kurt huffed a bit, but let a bit of the cat out of the bag so to speak since Sam was the one to approach him this time rather than the other way around.

"Everyone could see how into Quinn you were and since she was still clinging to that Finn drama, I thought that it would be a great idea to give you a reason to approach her. At that time, I believed that you needed each other and it did work out for a while. Until the Finn drama reasserted itself, but I don't regret helping you get to know her." Kurt shrugged his shoulders as though the whole matter had not been that big of a deal despite the hurt that he endured during that time. Sam did not buy the story at all because he remembers that Finn had approached him before Kurt had and after getting to know the guy, hearing some of the things that he has said about Kurt, the bottle-blond knew that the Cheerio was just trying to sell him a load of fluff.

"Tell me the truth, Kurt. Finn had more than one hand in the basket, didn't he?" Kurt snorted at how close to and yet how far the other was from the truth.

"He did not say anything that wasn't true, Sam. Don't worry about it."

Kurt struggled out of his seat as he moved to gather up his bag and dump the dishes in the sink in the kitchen. Once more, Sam intervened on Kurt's muscles' behalf. He carried the tired teen's bag up the stairs and into the neat bedroom that clearly belonged to Kurt. They may not have known each other very well before all the drama happened and Kurt transferred, but Sam did know enough to be suspicious of the drastic change that the other had undergone. It was nice to see that Kurt had not been truly defeated even though his change of wardrobe might suggest such. After placing their bags on the floor behind the door, Sam waited patiently while Kurt cleaned up and changed in his en suite before continuing their conversation.

"Why don't I be the judge of that? You were the only one that was truly kind to me from the get-go and then Finn comes in and all of a sudden you're colder than Siberia." Sam did not approach Kurt, but his folded eyes and set expression made it abundantly clear that he was not leaving the subject or Kurt be until the gay teen had come completely clean. Kurt's shoulders slumped in tiredness and minor defeat.

"Finn was the one who wanted to set you up with Quinn. He was the one to _suggest_ ," Kurt could not keep the inflection out of his tone, "that you would be good for helping Quinn get over their relationship and he could date Racheal without the continuing cat-fights between the two girls. In the end, it benefitted everyone, not just Finn, you or Quinn (at least for a while)." Sam was still not buying it. Something about the story just did not ring true for the diva across from him. Kurt could be surprisingly selfless, but when he was determined to do something, nothing stood in his way and Sam knew that he had been resolute in having a duet with Sam those long months ago. He continued to give Kurt the same glare his mother did when she knew he was hiding something from her. Finally Kurt seemed to implode and dropped ungracefully to sprawl across his bed.

"You were the new kid on the block and Finn was just trying to protect you from the infectious 'gay' of McKinley High School and the inherent danger that was sure to come just from us acknowledging each other's existence." Sam looked at Kurt with unbridled shock.

"Wha-what? Kurt-" Sam was in disbelief that Kurt had given in to such threats when he had certainly not done so before.

"If it had just been about me, I could have cared less, but to be the cause of someone else getting hurt is not something I enjoy. I would never put anyone in a position to be harmed when I could have done something to prevent it." Kurt uttered passionately. Sam gathered the Cheerio into his arms for a hug before pushing him back slightly and shaking him gently.

"You should have told me Kurt. Caring for others, being friends…that's a two way street and you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me even if you think it is in my best interest."

"They tried to break your arm at practice!" Kurt cried, but Sam remained unmovable.

"Yeah…and? My being friends with you has nothing to do with them and their issues. If they want to cause a fuss, then they can dig their own graves." Kurt looked into brown eyes with incredulity.

"You don't get it. If you are considered 'gay' or an associate of one, no one here cares about what happens to you. The state police got involved in my case and yet no one was prosecuted, no one at the school was punished, there was _nothing_. No one cares about homosexuals and who they associate with. In this town, in this _state_ they would rather see us dead than to even entertain the thought that we are just as human as they are!" Kurt ripped himself out of Sam's grip, pushing the jock back.

"I think it is time for you to go. Please, just stay away from me."

"Kurt-"

"No, Sam. I just want to survive my senior year of high school, so please…I am asking you as a friend to just leave me be. I'm tired of being hurt and hanging out with you is just going to invite more trouble. Please, just please…go away…" Kurt continued to mumble, tears sliding quietly down his face as the bottle-blond slowly gathered his things and reluctantly left the Hudmel household. There was so much more he wanted to say, he wanted to convince Kurt that this was not the way to do it, but he did not really understand Kurt's feelings or where he was coming from. Kurt had suffered all of his life in Lima and if he could do anything to ease that pain just a little bit, he would even if it meant suffering a little himself…even if it meant doing what Kurt had asked.

When Sam finally left, Kurt shut his door and locked it so that he would be able to cry without being crowded by an overly concerned Carol, his worried father or a resentful Finn. Even though he still desperately wanted to be Sam's friend, the jock did not understand the horror that Kurt had suffered through not only recently, but all his life here in this backwards town. Puck may be a friend now, but even he understood that there was no way that they could be friends in public. If they wanted to talk or hangout they had to use Santana and Brittany as a medium due to the inherent dangers of what the two of them caught 'alone' may be. Next time, Kurt may not survive the mobbing that would be punishment for attempting to 'convert' Puck. Sam could not see that, did not understand that and it was for this reason that Kurt pushed him away completely. Once the gay teen left his hellish home state, he would be freed of the chains of homophobia and he promised himself that no matter how much it would hurt, he would not come back.

* * *

The next day at school was not quite as smooth as the first, but it was still much better than any of his previous years at the schools he had attended in Lima. Kurt was slushied only twice and no one had been waiting for him that morning in order to toss him into the dumpster, which was a considerable improvement. Cheerios practice was as demanding as ever, but it kept him out of the house when he was not working in the garage with his dad or practicing his routines with Santana and Brittany while Puck threw out depraved comments (when he decided to grace them with his presence).

Things became even better for Kurt after he was once again recognized on national television as having contributed majorly to yet another National Cheerleading trophy for the Cheerios of Lima, Ohio. Most days he went without a single slushie and those days when he did get one, it was more of an afterthought, it seemed. It was calm and Kurt felt like he could breathe a little. He still did not approach anyone of the same gender unless he was accompanied by his two best girls or it was a class assignment, but he was more than okay with that. The true page turner that happened was between he and Finn after glee had yet another dysfunctional breakdown and Santana had taken the chance to rip the dim-witted glock a new one about everything she believed he had done wrong. Kurt, apparently, had been a major point and it had led to the tall teen approaching Kurt during one of the rare times that he was actually home.

Kurt had been recalcitrant to listen to anything Finn had to say, but he did so anyway because the tension in the house was unbearable. He was wary as the other teen fumbled with his words and meanings before it morphed into disbelieving shock at the fact that Finn Hudson was apologizing to Kurt Hummel. The gay teen had honestly thought such a thing would have never happened, that Finn would never see his actions as anything other than trying to prove a point to Kurt about his original way of expression. Yet, here they were, with Finn looking truly remorseful and contrite, and Kurt could do nothing but forgive the oversized teen. This did not mean he would forget…no, hurt stays with humans much more clearly than happiness, but for the sake of their family and the sake of his father, he would forgive Finn and he would make the effort to mend broken bridges within the Hudmel household.

As the days had passed on and Kurt faced little to no harassment from the jocks, he began to relax just a bit. After Finn's apology and his subsequent proof by action that he was sincere, Kurt believed that it was time that he re-incorporated himself into life at the Hudmel house. He started off small with attending Friday night dinners again. After a couple of awkward dinners, Kurt participated in conversation without much hesitation and things were beginning to normalize back to what they had been used to. Burt had taken the initiative to keep this newfound peace going by spending more time with Kurt with just the two them like it was before the Hudsons had joined their family. It might be a movie here or a lunch over the weekend there, but it meant the world to Kurt. However, the teen refused to re-open the conversation that happened the year before. Even though he may not have meant it to be malicious, Kurt was hurt all the same and he refused to reopen that wound. It was better for his and his dad's relationship if they left Kurt's sexuality out of the equation. It would forever more be large pink elephant between them. They acknowledged its existence, but they would not speak of it, allude to it, etc.

And so it was that Kurt's days passed peacefully…well, as peacefully as he could expect being the only 'out' gay student in Smalltown, USA. However, as was always the way in these small, backwards towns, there is no true peace for those that are 'different.' This semi-peaceful existence that he had both within and without of school was just the eye of the storm, the quiet before the noise, the peace before the war, the _tranquility_ before the _destruction._


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did not forget about my faithful readers or this fic. A little bit of writer's block put a kink in things, but mostly I have been disconnected from the internet which puts a damper on updating. Hope you like this chapter despite its darkness.
> 
> Cheers!  
> Nama

**_Out_ **

****

**Chapter: A Bloody Good Party**

**Date: January 27, 2016**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make profit from this fiction.**

It was two weeks before graduation and Kurt was over the moon as the day came ever closer. He was accepted into four of his schools of choice and just the week prior he had returned his acceptance to the New York School of Fashion and Design. It was not NYADA, but he was still happy that he got into one of his top choices. He had applied to over thirteen schools that had various focuses for him to study whilst there ranging from Business Administration to Mechanical Engineering, Design or Performing Arts. He made sure that he had at least one favored school and one back up for each so that he was ensured a ticket out of Lima, Ohio. He even applied to schools outside of New York in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. He definitely spent more time on his schooling than Rachel. She had taken to literally harassing Madam Tibideaux for a second audition after she choked on her first. 

 

The woman was infamous for being a hardass and taking no crap from anyone. He did not understand why Rachel thought thought that she would be the exception to the rule. Madam Tibideaux had given them critics and invited them both to reapply next year, which was more than could be said for other applicants, so he had was truly dumbfounded as to Rachel’s behavior. She was so arrogant as to only apply to NYADA rather than sending in multiple applications to the surrounding schools as well and thus, the fault lie with no one but her. In true Rachel fashion, she refused to see beyond her own overblown ego. In addition to the tiny diva’s drama, Finn had become desperate to capture his last moments as a high school student. His latest idea was a joint effort with Puckerman, in that they wanted to host the most ‘epic, senior, high school party ever.’ 

 

They wanted to host it at the Hudmel residence since Burt and Carol were finally going on their honeymoon that they had been delaying for well over a year, so the house would be with adult supervision. They were totally stoked over the idea of having a blow out party that would set the mood and hopefully, leave behind an untouchable legacy for the years and students to follow them. The details of the party had already been planned down to the last bottle of booze, however the point of contention that remained was when to hold the party. It was almost three hours of debating before the two teens could agree when to have it. There was a three day weekend coming up which would give them just enough time to set everything up, but also give everyone enough time to recover from the alcohol before returning to school for the last week before graduation.

 

Kurt was, of course, less than enthusiastic. While he had not been harassed all that much since his wardrobe change, he was still a favored target and those neanderthals were the ones that had nearly beaten him to death. How on Earth Finn got the idea that it would even remotely be okay to invite Kurt’s abusers into his only sanctuary, the youngest Hummel would never know. He was not too happy with Puck either, considering how they had gotten to know each other over the past few months. They both should have known better, but Finn was insistent and absolutely refused to take the effeminate teen’s protests into consideration. After all, it was just a party and both Finn and Puck would be there. It was not like the jocks would do anything with them there as they would supposedly not want to be kicked out of the party. Knowing that he would not be able to get his mulish, taller step-brother to let go of the idea of having at the Hudmel Residence, Kurt demanded to know when the party was going to be and planned to spend that time, possibly the whole night, elsewhere. However, like with all things where Finn is involved, the Frankenteen had mixed up the dates.

 

Kurt became caught in the middle of a jock party after arriving home from work sweaty, tired and wanting nothing more than a hot shower and early night. He had heard the thumping of the bass from down the street, but he had been hoping against hope that the sinking feeling in his stomach was nothing more than a reaction to his exhaustion. When he pulled into the drive, the music was clear whilst the lyrics were no more than a screech and all at ear bleeding levels of sound. He really wanted to back out of the drive way and just disappear, but he had no recourse. His extra cash was in his room and his emergency credit card did not have a high enough limit to allow him survive throughout the night and most likely a good portion of the next day. Even if he wanted to cut down on his costs, he would still have to go inside the house in order to get a set of clothing, his basic toiletries and of course, his travel sized skin routine items. It was with great reluctance that he pulled into his spot in the garage, turned off the ignition and got out of his baby. He had to stand for several long minutes, breathing carefully as he braced himself for the war that was masquerading as a party inside his house.

 

With barely contained fear, Kurt entered the house into the slam packed kitchen that boasted a sea of red, over sized, hormone riddled teenagers. As soon as he walked into the kitchen, Kurt was vigorously bounced around the room like a pinball as he attempted to make his way four feet to the basement door that led to his room. Each time he nearly made contact with his door, it seemed as though yet another red painted neanderthal would push, pull, bump him away and he would have to start all over again. It was not until one of the Cheerios entered, that the youngest Hummel was able to sweep beneath their notice long enough to unlock the door and enter his room. He was only going to grab a few things and his extra cash before making a hasty exit, however his speedy getaway was blocked by the hulking form of one David Karofsky looking down on him from halfway up the basement stairs.

 

Kurt’s breath left him in shocked fear for two, utterly important reasons: a) Karofsky was in his house rather than out of state like he was supposed to be and b) they were completely alone in the  _soundproofed_  basement. Kurt’s first thought was that no one would even be able to hear him scream. His second was to know that even if he did, it was very unlikely that anyone would actually care. They had let him into the house, probably welcomed him with open arms and Kurt was still the resident  _gay_. His brain finally kick started as he sucked in a deep breath of oxygen to his burning, starving lungs. The smaller teen began to inch his way backward as inconspicuously as possible in order to attempt getting to his phone, in his messenger bag on the desk behind him. For one so large, Karofsky was on him before Kurt recognized that he had even needed to react to the possible threat.

 

The first blow saw blood dripping from his nose and smearing onto the Dior Gray carpet that covered the room. A whimper broke from pale lips at the pain that was coursing through his face before turning into a breathless moan as the male above him slammed his heavy, booted foot into the soft, tender flesh of Kurt’s stomach. The effeminate teen curled into himself as new agony blossomed in his abdomen, only to jerk violently as that same foot planted itself mercilessly into his exposed ribcage. The torture continued until the smaller teen was nothing more than a solid mass of pain. From the tips of his disheveled hair to the ends of his pedicured toenails was nothing but a uniform, throbbing nerve of agony for the youngest Hummel. Blood covered the floor from Kurt’s nose and mouth where the pain in his stomach had become too much. However, his torment was not done.

 

In true McKinley style, Karofsky was joined by the other top tier jocks excluding the Cheerios and Puckerman. It seemed that the Jewish jock had made it a point to drive the ladies home since most of them were beyond intoxicated and no one had any desire for another Babygate scandal to finish off their senior year. As for one Finn Hudson, he was once more acting as a sheep and simply following the herd. He was disgusted with what they were doing to Kurt, but just as always, he said nothing because he did not want to be viewed at the same level as the ‘Fairy.’ He stood by as they stripped Kurt bare, as they tied his hands and feet together before carrying him out of the house to the backyard. From there, he watched as they found a ladder, some more rope and a few tools with which they hung Kurt from a tree in the chilled night air. Blood dripped slowly, steadily from the ‘accidental’ wounds that had appeared during the short distance from the basement to the back yard. 

 

As Kurt hung, slowly bleeding out in near unconsciousness and agony, the jocks that had gathered began to disperse in order to continue their party. The alcohol flowed even more freely as teens rode the high of their  _conquest_  and final retaliation against the disgusting boylover. As to Finn Hudson, once Kurt was out of sight as he returned to the house with the others, the younger teen was also out of mind. He left his stepbrother outside, unknowing and uncaring of the fact that he was dying. With every crimson drop that stained the slowly, greening grass and rich earth beneath, Kurt was one step closer to death’s door. With every hour that crept on, the shivers of cold became nonexistent as the Hummel teen began to freeze into hypothermia. With every student that left, Finn became less and less concerned about freeing his younger sibling. By the time morning arrived, Kurt was....

 

* * *

Mrs. Shule whom shared the tree with the Hudmels screamed as she stepped outside her sliding glass door, dropping her cup of scalding hot coffee and uncaring of the burns that came from the hot liquid. The horror before her would remain with her for the rest of her life. Her husband ran around the side of the house, his file bag left in the driveway next to the still locked car as he responded to his wife’s terror filled shrieks. He missed the sight at first, his concern for his wife overriding everything else. As soon as he was assured that she was in no immediate danger, he followed her line of sight and felt an instantaneous need to be sick to his stomach as he looked upon the scene of death himself. Once he was able to regain himself enough, he quickly dialed for help, cursing when his shaking fingers made it harder to press the right buttons. The Shules would forever be haunted by the gruesome sight that marred the otherwise perfectly normal, Friday morning.

 

In the house, a phone rang shrilly with no effect on the blackout drunks that remained. It rang, rang, rang, rang, rang into alcohol deaf ears before falling eerily, finally quiet. The house was silent, the street was silent, and the backyard had returned to solemn, horror filled silence. Silence blanketed it all. Silence. Silent. Silence. Silent.

 

Sirens.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Out** _

**Chapter: Introspection**

**Date: February 5, 2016**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make profit from this fiction.**

_It is cold, dark with a feeling of cold, wet damp misting about with a bone freezing edge. He stands alone on his island covered in black surrounded by a sea of never-ending pitch. Up, down, left, right have no meaning in this void that he resides, there is only night, cold, himself. He is empty just like the space around him, he is forever void of everything. No light reaches his skin, it does not warm his face, it does not melt the frigidness of his bones beneath icy flesh. He is alone, he is lonely, he is nothing surrounded by the suffocating silence of more nothingness. A spark appears in the dark, light blinds him in the dark and he is entranced by its appearance, by its distant, fleeting warmth. He is weary of it first, it is new, it is unknown but it seems to be corporeal._

_He reaches out to it, it shies from him and pulls away. It wanders closer and he knows if he reaches for it again that it will run from him. He just wants to feel the warmth, to enjoy the light it brings to his pitch world. The heat on his skin grows the closer it travels to him until the building temperature begins to become uncomfortable, he shies from it this time but it follows him in a reluctant, forceful manner. He reaches for it once more, hoping to...he does not really know. He has never experienced anything like this before. It is entrancing, enthralling, thrilling and he wants more despite the building pain. At last, the light flies directly toward him, hitting him dead center, his hand clutches the burning agony that has blossomed from his chest. He looks down, the light is gone, he is alone again. Worse, he is damaged, he can feel the crisped edges of the gaping wound, can feel the burn of it spreading from his chest outward. The weight of his loneliness now is crushing as he collapses in on himself with the pain of it all. All of it is agony. Someone screams, an echoing cry that rings through his head over and over and over again. Over and over and over..._

Word traveled fast in a small town like Lima, Ohio, especially when someone had to be airlifted out to Columbia for emergency treatment. Even though the name of the individual had been lost, there was enough description surrounding the cause to figure out just who was the victim of the effects. Puck had pushed his old truck as quickly as it could go to the Hudmel house because he wanted to so badly to disprove the conclusion that he had reached. Brittany and Santana would meet him at the house as they too, were extremely worried about their pretty little dolphin. They met him in the driveway, but they already had their confirmation.

Mr. Shule was still being questioned by a set of officers in his backyard, which was in clear view of approaching the driveway from the left as Puck was. In addition to that damning evidence, Finn Hudson, Rick 'The Stick' Nelson and another random jock from the football team were stationed out on the front lawn with several more officers. They wore expressions dimmed by hangover and not enough sleep to recover from the night before. There was undeniable proof of an out of control party that was littered with underage drinking, however the facial expressions were much to somber to be about trouble over a party that had ended hours ago. In addition, Kurt's vehicle was in the opened garage, littered with graffiti and the teen was conspicuously absent from the interrogations. Puck was not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he the picture painted before him was presented in HD. He was out of his truck and across the lawn without thought. His fist slammed solidly into Finn's jaw, sending the towering teen down the tower of Babylon. The confused, dazed eyes that met his attack from the trash covered ground below only served to arouse his anger further. Before he could unleash his burning fury, he was restrained by several bundles of arms.

"Looking at you makes me sick!"

Finn remained planted in the dirt as Puck shook off the hands keeping him at bay and returning to the driveway where Brit and Satan stood watching with murder in their eyes (at least as close to murder as Brittany was able to summon with her innocent mind). He stopped long enough to inquire about Kurt's whereabouts before he and the girls piled into his truck and began the somewhat lengthy drive to the Columbia Trauma Center. Imaginations ran wild, but when they finally arrived, the truth was much, much worse than any of them could have ever pictured. This time, there was truly a question of whether or not Kurt would live and if he did so, what kind of life would he lead from then on. They had merely been told that he was stable and in a coma. Other than that, the doctors' lips were sealed about the effeminate teen's condition due to the fact that they were not family. For the second time in his life, Puck was seriously afraid to lose someone that he cared about through a situation that was out of his hands.

Burt and Carol had just opened the door to their suite when Burt's cell phone cried out shrilly from his pants pocket. He groaned in frustration that already something had happened, but his heart dropped into his shoes when he saw the name displayed under the number: Columbia Trauma Center. He nearly dropped his phone in surprise as he attempted to answer the call, his fingers shaking with the overwhelming anxiety and foreboding that he felt with this call. His worst fears were realized quickly after confirming that he was the parent of Kurt Hummel. His son was in the hospital, his son was in the hospital...again and he was in a coma...again. Only this time, there was reason to worry. The longer Kurt stayed in his current state, the less likely he would be to ever wake up.

Burt ended the call and immediately began dialing the airport in order to exchange or buy another ticket so that he could return home immediately. He knew he was being unfair to Carol by ignoring her and her concern, but he could not help but resent her a bit because in his heart of hearts, he knew that her son, the flesh and blood that _she_ raised had something to do with this latest assault. He only turned his attention to her once he was assured that he would be returning home on the earliest flight possible which sadly did not leave until late in the evening. It was hard to keep his tone neutral and his face impassive as he informed her of what had happened and why they were leaving the same day that they had arrived at their final destination. With tense silence, they gathered their luggage and headed back to the lobby in order to call a cab back to the airport.

Their silence lasted the entire four hour flight, through the landing and was only broken by Burt once they had reached the Trauma Center. His only words in hours were aimed at the station nurse as he inquired about the location of his son and the name of the doctor that was responsible for his boy.

"The best that I can say about his case...he is stable and remains in the coma, more than likely, as a way to heal himself and deal with the emotional trauma. This is something that Kurt must come to terms with on his on. From here out, it is up to him."

Carol was uncharacteristically meek as she followed submissively behind the tense, broad form of her husband. She was in an entirely unknown situation that was coupled cripplingly with the foreboding intuition that her son was at fault for this. She had always been incredulous and cautious at Kurt's tolerance of her son and it was crushing to find as time went on, that she was the one in the wrong. The source of the controversy between Kurt and Finn was not the smaller teen despite the overwhelming evidence provided to the contrary.

Burt's shoulders sagged with the regret that weighed so heavily upon him. He loved Carol, she filled something in him that had been ripped away when his first wife had died so suddenly. However, he could not help but resent her, her son and regret that he had ever brought them into his baby boy's life. He was angrier that even when he had saw the signs leading to this moment, he had allowed his own selfishness to blind him, to allow it to continue to poison his home. The results of it laid before him, in yet another sterile hospital room with the very real possibility that he might lose the only thing more important to him than his own life. It made him sick to his stomach that he had been so ignorant after working so hard to get closer to his son. Hindsight was definitely twenty-twenty and it was revealing some really horrible truths not only about him, but about the environment he had forced Kurt to endure.

Burt could finally admit that he had had no idea, not even the tiniest inkling of the horrors that his son had survived, mostly in silence. The few times Kurt had dared to speak up with the smallest hints of what was going on, Burt realized that he had not even tried to really hear it, to really take the time to attempt to understand what his unique son was going through, to realize how heavy the burden must have been that he was finally crumpling enough to do away with his strong sense of independence to seek help from his father. Even more though, he felt selfish and guilty. Kurt had come to him after the last hospital stay wanting to leave for early college program in Rhode Island and since he was underage, he needed parental consent to even apply to the program. Burt had felt that since Finn had agreed to stand up and look after his brother, there was no need to send his baby boy off so early. Looking back, he could remember the desperation in Kurt's eyes as he literally begged his father to let him go, to let him escape the tortures he had endured in Lima. For the first time since he could remember, Burt broke down. He cried like a child as his heart grieved and his memories berated him.

He refused every attempt of comfort by his wife and his son's friends as he let the emotions fill him to the brim and spill copiously over. They could do nothing but sit back and watch as the normally strong, quiet man shuddered with the strength of his sobs and the room echoed with the wet, gasping groans of his cries. Puck was keenly aware of just how much was going on inside Burt because he too had felt those things when dealing with the loss of Beth coupled with his hectic home-life and the need to provide and care for his crippled family. It added to his own guilt that he had not been more vigilant, that he had relaxed his guard just because Finn had not flaked as quickly as was usual for him. He knew Finn better than anyone and it was absolutely devastating to have the knowledge that he could have stopped the entire situation from happening if he had just been more proactive in making sure Kurt was in the loop about the party. For now, all either of them could do to even begin making up for their willful blindness was to wait for Kurt to awake from his coma...if he ever did.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"


	8. Chapter 8

_**Out** _

**Chapter Eight**

**Date: March 19, 2016**

**Disclaimer: I do not own this fandom nor make profit from writing this fiction.**

Kurt thrashed as well as he could while burdened by the multitude of wires, tubes, bandages and plaster that appeared to cover him from head to toe. He was drowning in the dark sea of his loneliness and volatile emotions. He was suffocating beneath the crushing weight that represented his life, his chest burning with the lack of air, his limbs on fire with the agony of oxygen deprivation. All at once he was out of control and undeniably restrained. He was a contradiction of fear and fight impulses that made his head and heart pitch and toss nauseatingly against each other until finally his chest was opening. No...he could breath, a wail of sound echoing as bittersweet, ephemeral relief washed over him. As the wail quieted, so did his turmoil and then he was sinking softly, gently into the darkness that no longer grappled him, but teased him downward with tender, sweet caresses. Kurt was no more as the darkness swelled over him, covering him, protecting him, healing him of the hurt, the pain and providing a presence to fill the lonely void. All went silent, quiet...soundless.

* * *

The high pitched trill that escaped the beaten teen had startled everything with ears for two floors. The nurses in charge of the youth's care had rushed into the room with their hearts in their throats as they rushed to find out what was going on with their charge. The large figure, the child's father was fretting as the woman that had accompanied him attempted to soothe the clearly agitated, thrashing figure that was fighting valiantly in his sleep on the bed. He refused to be comforted, lashing out even more violently, his eyes scrunched closed with all the strength he could muster until the doctor finally arrived in time to see two of the nurses take blows to the face and chest as they attempted to control the patient. Whatever he was fighting, it was clear that he was fighting to live, to survive. The doctor quickly administered the sedative directly into the teen's upper thigh, helping the nurses to hold him until it could take effect. Once the teen quieted back into a calmer sleep, the team of health care professionals began to work rapidly to repair the damage that the teen had done to himself in his fit.

Bandages were removed, the wounds inspected, stitching redone, lacerations bandaged once more, tubes reattached and more. While the nurses worked to address all the subsequent issues from Kurt's episode, the doctor turned to the teen's father and his wife to question them about what may have led to the youth's aggression. However, his interrogation was useless as they had been more interested in their introspective thoughts than observing the patient in the bed. What they could confidently say was that Kurt had moved from a comatose state to simply being unconscious. He would be more closely monitored as the episode that they had just faced was cause for concern about his mental state. They were worried about the disorientation that would come once he awoke and finally reemerged into the world.

With a hefty sigh, the doctor made a few more notations in Kurt's chart, before leaving the room to the sleeping teen and his parents. Burt's shoulders were slumped more than should be physically possible for a man of his build and size, while Carol seemed to have her hand permanently glued to her mouth with the shock and guilt that she felt in the situation. The elder Hummel was burdened with regret as he re-evaluated all of the memories he had dealing with Kurt's sexuality, his determined silence against those that had bullied him for being who he was as well as in most recent, strained interactions with his son. The results were not coming up in anyone's favor, most especially his son's as he realized just how sucked into the general mindset he had allowed himself to be. It broke his heart and filled him with such self anger, loathing and doubt. How could he have ever been considered a father with all that he had allowed to happen to his son both in and outside of his presence.

As much as Kurt hid from him, Burt was not easily fooled. However, he wanted to wait for his son to come to him, to ask him for help so that he would have something more than just his suspicions. The more he thought about it though, he realized that there had been several occasions when the flamboyant teen had approached him for help and he had brushed it off or ignored it in favor of doing something else for someone else. Kurt had not really, truly been his number one priority for quite a while and he could not even really pinpoint when this had become true. It was just another weight to the regret that was attempting to strangle him. He had let his boy down in so many ways, had been so closed off that he wondered if Kurt would ever be able to forgive, if he would ever be worthy of that same forgiveness. He had to do better, he had to be better if he was ever going to have a chance of rebuilding a relationship with his son, of building a better relationship with his baby boy.

The problem was, at this point, where did he begin. This was not something that would be solved with a new tiara or a Queenie jacket (Alexander McQueen). Not to mention that Kurt would more than likely still be leaving for New York come the end of summer, more than likely sooner if he could manage it once he left the hospital. He was stumped as to what he could possibly do and there seemed to be no immediate solution as to how he should begin, how he should open the door, a window, hell a crack would suffice. He could feel it in his bones that he was going to lose his child, his son, his baby if he did not do something to bridge the chasm that had grown so large between them. What could he do though? What could he do? What?

* * *

Puck, Santana and Brittany had only remained in the loop about what was happening with Kurt due to the fact that Puck had unashamedly romanced a couple of the floor nurses in order to obtain information. Santana would have gone outright for the doctor, but he was decidedly uninterested and Puck was not into any bats but his own. Santana was the one to keep in contact with the Warblers whom were stuck in Westerville for their final performances of the year. They were sticklers for keeping their word, so they were locked into their agreements to do these series of one day events for various charity organizations. Thus, Santana kept them updated on Kurt's condition, his improvements and the doctor's hopes and worries about the teen that they all mutually loved and adored for his inner strength and keen sense of self. Kurt was an inspiration to them all to be true to themselves and to stand up for not only what was right, but what they themselves believed in.

Of the three of them, Brittany was the one most effected by Kurt's plight due to the simple fact that against all odds, Kurt was able to follow her train of logic no matter how weird or extraneous it became. He was even better at it than Santana and Brit-Brit absolutely adored the Hispanic cheerleader. Not to mention, that Kurt was a great kisser and despite his continued refusals, she had a long-term plan in place that would ensure that she and the flamboyant teen made out again. She wanted to Santana to join in though because they always shared the really good things in life with each other up to and including boys. Life just would not be as fun without Kurt and the air-headed teen was all about the enjoyment of her life despite the fact that everyone else was always trying to put her down thinking that she would not understand or come to find out that they were insulting her.

Brittany was not the only individual desperately wishing for Kurt's return to the waking world. Puck was in desperate need of the only person whom had never judged him for anything beyond what the glock had done to him before joining Glee. Once they had overcome their tumultuous past, the two had remained distance, but civil until Babygate. During the drama with Quinn's pregnancy and the revelation that the baby was his, Kurt was the only person that had not treated him as though he was lesser for it. Kurt was also the teen that had helped him to find a stable job that did not involve selling himself to the neighborhood cougars. The flamboyant teen had also helped him to budget his earnings to that he could prepare for the baby once it was born as well as help Quinn with the medical expenses that she had been racking up. Then she had given the baby up for adoption without telling him, his little Beth was to be gone. However, that was not the reason that he acted out and landed himself in Juvie.

Kurt had stepped in when Puck had called him about the pregnant Cheerio's plans for after the baby's birth. He had pointed out that Quinn may be willing to give up her parental rights, but she cannot dictate that he do the same. Meaning that Puck could gain full custody of their child as long as he was willing to maintain his parental rights. As Puck worked with the social worker, an amniotic withdrawal of DNA was taken to determine paternity and it was found that Noah Puckerman was in no way related to the child that Quinn Fabray carried. It was a harsh blow, especially after all the heat he had taken, the slushies, the name calling and several of the fights he had gotten into since Rachel opened her over-sized mouth. He had just been so angry that he had not really thought about what he was doing, he just did it. Landing in Juvie was what had really cemented the bond of friendship between Puck and Kurt, even though they had not been open about. Kurt had been the only person, not even his mom, to see him at the detention center.

Kurt was a light at the end of dark tunnel to them all and no matter how much they tried, they knew that they would never be able to return that unique kindness to him. The smaller teen had been bullied, assaulted and ignored for so long that he could not see just how loved he was, how worthy he was of the people that he cared for. The countertenor could not see that he made those around him want to be better, to be _worthy_ of him rather than the other way around. It was frustrating to watch just as much as it was painful because it only emphasized how much they had failed him not only currently, but throughout their lives in Lima. Kurt was so much more than that town would ever be and Puck was not afraid to admit that he wanted to latch onto the teen, to get help in leaving the town and never having to go back. He also wanted a chance to prove not only to himself, but to Kurt that he was truly redeemable and worth the effort that the young Hummel had put into him. For once in his life, Puck wanted to impress someone, he wanted to live up to and even exceed their expectations of him. However, with the other male in his current position, Puckerman could feel himself losing sight of the path that he had been building for himself with Kurt's assistance. He felt adrift, directionless and it was bringing back all of those horrifying emotions that had bogged him down before. He needed Kurt, Satan and Brit-Brit too. They were falling apart at the seams without him!

* * *

Finn Hudson could not remember much about the night of the party after about the first couple of hours. He and the rest of the jocks had been drinking pretty hard since the start and he had never been one to really hold his liquor. He vaguely remembered Puck leaving to help the girls home after they began complaining about the overall pathetic behavior of the guys getting drunk off their asses, but he was not sure if that was a real memory or not due to the excessive amount of alcohol. Most importantly, he did not remember Kurt returning home, though he did remember telling him the wrong date for the party. He had just not been able to catch up with Kurt later to remedy the mistake and by the time the party had come around it was too late. He figured his step-brother would just lock himself into the basement for the night or duck back out to spend the night with one of his girlfriends.

What the overly tall teen had not expected was waking up to the police breaking in the front door, guns drawn and sweeping about the room as though there were criminals afoot. It was something that he had only ever seen in movies before and while it had been cool there, it was not so cool to be on the receiving end of it. All of the passed out teens had been jerked out of the house no matter their state of dress or mentality by the officers to be questioned separately. After his confrontation with Puck, they had all been read their rights, arrested and placed in the back of several different cruisers. Once again, something like that looked great on the big screen, but Finn had the completely opposite opinion when it was happening to him. The one thought that resounded through his head was that Kurt had to have called the cops on them and he could not help but be angry that Kurt was still being such a petty person. His mom and Burt were gonna kill him when they got the call from the cops. With a groan he put his head down to avoid looking at the outside scenery that was moving way too fast for his queasy stomach to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait everyone. I will try to have the next update out sooner, but have no fear that you have been forgotten. Thanks for staying with me thus far, I love reading your feedback as you keep me on the right track. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Cheers!  
> Nama

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Glee fanfic, so please let me know what you all think.  
> Cheers!  
> Nama


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